I’m just a mess this morning. So much I want to do, but there is so much I must do. But first, the trash needs to be taken out. Something finally turned into a science project in the refrigerator and I am the one who must take it outside, empty the contents into the garbage…
Tag: lifestyle
Today I wish I were sad
That would be a step up from where I am right now. The harder I work on my recovery, the further behind I feel. Now part of this may be the time of year. I know about S.A.D. and what happens when you do not get enough sunlight. This could certainly be a factor in…
Our lives’ are all about making choices
Sometimes it’s as simple as what will I have for breakfast. Should I just have a bowl of cereal, maybe with banana slices on it? Or should I make eggs, possibly bacon, toast, and grits? What about skipping breakfast and just grabbing coffee? Each of these choices, small as they may be, come with consequences….
It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Here are the clues I’m not on my game. I don’t sleep well. I am back to the waking every hour or so. When I work late and close the building, I am going to bed about 1 AM. I wake at 3, then 4, then 5:30, 6:30, AM or so, and I keep trying…
What’s the point of my life?
I thought I would be “cured” by now. Seven months after my hospitalization for Major Depressive Disorder, it feels like I should be on top of my game. I have medication helping me, a therapist, a psychiatrist and peer support. In September, I flew to Chicago and spent the weekend learning SMART Recovery at their…
I bumped into my old self this morning
It was totally unexpected. I guess I had secretly hoped it would happen but was very guarded in my expectations. It has been five days since my Psychiatrist increased my Prozac from 20 mg to 40 mg daily. My instructions are to let him know in 3 weeks how I am feeling, sooner if there…
A little slack in the chain
It’s not a lot to ask for, just a little space. Yes, I still want to be a part of your life. And yes, I care about you. But I need my space, too. It sounds selfish when I say it out loud. Even thinking I must sometimes say no is not in my DNA….
Afraid or not, life still marches forward
We are either moving forward or we are dead. There is no middle ground. Even when we feel nothing is happening, that what we are doing doesn’t matter, life is going on. My personal thoughts about my self-worth and my value, my contributions to society and the greater good, are done against this backdrop. Whether…
I’m spinning a lot of plates today
Who doesn’t get caught up in things occasionally? I am not bemoaning being busy. I chose that over retirement. Well, I chose busy over feeling anxious. Busy over wallowing in the depths of depression, busy instead of not being here at all. When I think of it that way, I have no room to bitch…
11 Things Depression has done, and it’s only Wednesday
Depression can be sneaky. It has infested itself in my being and has taken up residence in my body as if it belongs there. I am angry this morning. And as I think about why I am angry; I am recognizing things that are happening that I must learn to think differently about. Living with…
