I’m seeing more and more articles with headlines: Day 18 of Self-Isolation. It starts with a dire warning, “The kids broke the toaster.” Then they go on to tell you about how the kids are doing beyond the toaster and the baking they have done. All of this is important in their lives and is…
If I’m OK, why am I gaining weight?
I do not have COVID 19, but I do have MDD. My relationship with depression is much more defined than it was a year ago. Just before I went into the hospital, I was so stressed that I was having trouble eating. My weight dropped appreciably, and I had to force myself to eat anything…
I don’t want to be closed off
Non-essential businesses are closing. The mall attached to where I work is closed. It is an eerie sight. With gates down, access is limited to the occasional security guard making the rounds. And at first, there were custodians cleaning the floors and seating surfaces. At another local mall, Chick-Fil-A has a tent set up near…
Should I be worried?
It would be so easy to go down that rabbit hole. “Oh, whoa is me.” But many questions come to mind. Are these things I should be worrying about? How are you coping with Covid 19? How can I do what I need to do when the world is facing Covid19? Will I get it?…
Depression and I are on a first-name basis
It’s a disease after all. It can’t exactly be the enemy, because it is a part of me. Trying to understand how to frame my relationship with depression has been complicated. Not only is it a disease, but it is also a mental health issue. That makes it nowhere near as straight forward as cancer….
People thought I was dead
That is a very sobering thought. Six weeks after getting out of the hospital, I finally contacted my mentor. He had been checking the obituaries. And while I had stayed in touch with another person for over two years, I feel off the grid last summer and stopped responding to her emails. I had the…
I’m early for my therapy appointment
I am always early. If I am on time, I feel like I am late. Waiting in the parking lot for my therapist to arrive, I have scrolled through more Facebook than I usually do in a week. I had to decide whether to drive home from work just long enough to turn around and…
With depression in full bloom, I was a mess last year.
I guess in many ways I still am. I am learning how to live with depression after avoiding facing it for over 43+ years. I had a whole system in place to protect myself from the truth. I lived through at least four major episodes before winding up in the hospital a year ago. That…
Self-isolation is so isolating
I am forgetting how much I enjoy in-person interaction. This past weekend had been booked as a bridal shower in a northern state. We were to drive up Friday, attend the bridal shower on Saturday, visit Sunday and return home on Monday. This was planned months before Covid 19 made its entrance on the world…
A day working in the yard has helped me dust the cobwebs out of my mind.
Today, it almost seems like everything is right with the world. I got to spend the morning with my wife. First hanging out in the living room, talking about what to do with the day. Then doing some grocery shopping, picking up a prescription all the while maintaining “social distancing.” Then I focused on mowing…
