I never gave much importance to living in the moment. My life has been much more about time traveling. My comfort zone is the future. The planning and anticipating of future events have been my go-to place. There everything is perfect. Or sometimes not, if I am catastrophizing about some future event that may or…
No sleep for you: I tossed and turned all night
My sleep patterns have been much better. Maybe it’s my work schedule. Maybe I am tired when I go to bed. Or it could be that depression is not as active. Whatever the reason, my sleep has been much better in the past month or so. Most nights I only wake once, versus my old…
There’s a familiar chill in the air
Autumn and spring are my two favorite seasons. Fall has piles of leaves, fall colors in the trees, the first hints of cold weather to come, and a frost that finishes off the annuals that are still trying, however gangly and unkempt they have become, to show off their summer colors. Spring has longer days,…
Where did the hummingbirds go?
OK, I get it. Time does not standstill. Things change, the seasons change, and with it our lives. Some days we are on our game; then we have a day where things are just not clicking. Some days we hit one out of the park, and then we strike out three times in a row….
Why is it so much harder when you have choices?
With concealed depression, everything was about work. It was a place to run to, to be distracted from the prospect of having to live in the present moment. Work, in its various forms, has been a place for me to hide. A place to confirm in my head that I have value. It’s my comfort…
11 Things Depression has done, and it’s only Wednesday
Depression can be sneaky. It has infested itself in my being and has taken up residence in my body as if it belongs there. I am angry this morning. And as I think about why I am angry; I am recognizing things that are happening that I must learn to think differently about. Living with…
Even the dog got up early today
I have a therapy appointment this morning. When the alarm went off, I got up and went into the bathroom to take my medicine. After my psychiatrist appointment last month, he felt the 20 mg. of Prozac was all I needed, and I should see him again next month. I am still impressed that he…
Are these really early warning signs?
The last few weeks are catching up with me. Between working 7 days in a row, then flying to Chicago, coming back and working another 7 in a row, I am slowing down just a little bit. For example, my legs felt it when we walked the dog yesterday evening. Our property has many hills…
With so many voices, why am I listening to that one?
It isn’t logical. There is no direct evidence that this one voice is correct. In fact, there is overwhelming evidence that this voice is not the one I should listen to. It is not the one I should pay attention to. I should not stay up late tossing and turning over this voice. I should…
I’m alive, that is my success today
Busy, busy, busy. I cannot stop to write. But I am alive and I am grateful for today. Sometimes celebrating the small stuff is the biggest thing you can do. What will you do with today?
