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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Doing About It.

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Medication

Why Won’t Depression Let Professional Help In?

July 20, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Depression is not letting professional help stay in my life, or is my depression making me push away professional help?

Photo by Nico Smit on Unsplash My depression has exclusivity in my life. Try as I might to invite others in to share my life, in the end, I find ways to stay distant. Even when I initiate the friendship or professional relationship, in the end, I find ways to stay distant from them. And even when I stay involved, my depression is still working to keep me separate from … [Read more...] about Why Won’t Depression Let Professional Help In?

Now Back at The Gym, I Used Covid Instead of Depression for Why I Left

July 11, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Now back at the gym, I used covid and not depression as my reason for stopping

Depression told me it was an innocent slip, but I’m sure it was Freudian. I was sitting in the small office of my gym, re-registering. We were talking about getting back and without being asked, I volunteered that I had stopped because of Covid. This was true in a way, but it was not the real reason I stopped going. I stopped going to the gym because I had been in 5 East … [Read more...] about Now Back at The Gym, I Used Covid Instead of Depression for Why I Left

Stigma Has Kept Me From “Coming Out” With My Depression

July 10, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

If I wasn't afraid of stigma, I would send this email about my depression with my full name

If I weren't still dragging around the fear of what they might say, I would openly use my 500th blog post to email this letter to my friends and family. Dear Friend, I suffer from depression. (1) My life with depression started before I was 19, and depression has been a factor in most of my life’s decisions, both small and large. I do not say this to excuse my … [Read more...] about Stigma Has Kept Me From “Coming Out” With My Depression

Depression Never Told Me It’s Not All About Me

June 15, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Depression never told me that it's not all about me, it would rather I feel not in control and helpless than give me choices.

It turns out that I am not the center of everyone’s universe. I’ve seen others exhibit this behavior and I most certainly do it. Many times, I have gone through things that were traumatic and painful. Coming out on the other side of these incidents, I can see how it impacted others too. It turns out it wasn't just me and what happened to me. This is especially true with my … [Read more...] about Depression Never Told Me It’s Not All About Me

If I Did Not Have Depression, Would I Have Already Written 500 Blog Posts About My Depression? (This is only post #489)

May 15, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

If I did not have depression, I would have already written my 500th blog post about depression

Getting stuck in my depression happens a lot. Things on the surface appear to be going well, but underneath the surface, there is a mish-mosh of stuff going on.  Oh, the miracle of concealed, high-functioning depression. Of course, the easy way out is to blame my lack of forward momentum on my depression. I can say “If I didn’t have depression, then I would …” But this … [Read more...] about If I Did Not Have Depression, Would I Have Already Written 500 Blog Posts About My Depression? (This is only post #489)

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder. With 40+ years of living with high-functioning depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. I got carried away searching for answers and earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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