It is clear to those around me that something was on my mind. I’ve never been very good at hiding things, even though that was one of the main tasks that depression wanted me to focus on. Secrets were and are one of depression’s tools that kept me listening to it and it alone. I…
Category: self care
I’m sending up flares, but no one see’s my SOS
I have let my self-care take a back seat to the events unfolding around me. I’ve tried to send signals that something is not right. This includes saying to people “something is not right.” I’ve been writing about how I have had major trouble getting out of bed in the morning. This has been an…
When will I get to write?
Instead of writing over the past few days, life happened . The past few days have been non-stop. I have worked six days in a row, traveling 1 2/2 hours each way. Then there was the 3+ hour commute in the snowstorm. This was followed by the unexpected invitation to go to the movies yesterday….
What a terrible thing to say
I can’t believe those were the first words out of my mouth. The day had really ended well despite taking three hours to drive in the heavy, wet snow to work. It turns out the winter storm tracked east, at about the same speed as I was traveling east. I kept thinking it was going…
My first Snow Day of the new decade
The weather forecast predicting snow was correct. It will snow here for the next few hours. This will make driving to work interesting. But this is a cause for celebration in my book. I have plenty of wood on the porch, the generator is full of gas if we lose power, and we have plenty…
The end is the beginning?
I am not sure where I stand today. This lagging sense of dullness has not passed. It has been there in one form or another for weeks. Let me say right here that it is not that way 100% of the time. I have had some special moments over the holidays that I will treasure….
Getting up is still an issue
I thought with the new year, things would change. My attitude towards getting out of bed in the morning has not been moved by the beginning of a new decade. While not quite as dramatic as going from 1999 to the year 2,000, a new decade, to me, is a chance to reevaluate my life…
“I know that’s going to leave a mark”
The last year of this decade was overly complicated, frightening and dramatic. It started off in January of 2019 with waking up not being able to breath. It wasn’t that there was no air, it was as if someone had taken the life-giving oxygen out of the air that I was breathing in. I would…
Seven reasons I am ready for the New Year
I am sure I will make a New Year’s resolution or two. But I won’t need to go far to find them. My resolutions or plan for the new year is the same today as it was yesterday. And it is encompassed in SMART and WRAP training. Without the tools, ideas and support of these…
I just want to get out of bed
Why is this so darn hard? What is it that is keeping me from doing this? I set my alarm with the most optimistic of intentions and fall asleep. But something goes sideways between the time I go to bed and the time I had picked to get up. And I hit the snooze alarm….
