Some days, there is no fairy tale ending. I wish it weren’t so. But depression and I are locked in a tug of war. Sometimes I can pull harder. And often depression pulls the hardest. Depression and I have been engaged in this tug of war for over 40 years. You would think I would understand the way it works by now. And the more tools I collect to deal with depression, the … [Read more...] about Sensational Ways Depression Sometimes Wins
Suicide & Self-Harm
I am a middle-class male who has worked since he was 10 years old. My career includes 43+ years in retail management and along with my wife, have raised 3 wonderful children. I have lived with Major Depressive Disorder for over 40 years. Depression often shows me paths to follow that end in my circling the drain and crashing into the abyss. My reason for writing is to let … [Read more...] about Real-Life Thoughts About My Life With Depression
My life has been me and then me as a title. Son, husband, father, writer, manager, greeting card company developer, resume writer, career coach, business owner, fisherman. And this is just the shortlist. After being in the hospital for major depressive disorder, I noticed this idea. It is the idea that I am not good enough just as myself. I am a good manager, father, … [Read more...] about My Remarkable Journey to Just Be Me
Or would the correct term be joy, a core emotion? Either way, I suppose this is a milestone of birthdays. It has been coming for a while. There was nothing to do but allow it to tick forward, a day at a time, until now it is the big day. I turn 65 today. Now I can finally take advantage of the senior discount at Denny’s. Just kidding. It’s been so long since I was in a … [Read more...] about Can I Be Happy With My Birthday?
Some days I need to remind myself that I have depression. But most days, I know that depression and I have a lifelong connection. As I move further away from my time in the hospital, I am beginning to feel guilty for being alive. The better things are going in my life, the more I feel guilty. After all there are many people in much worse shape than I ever was, even as I … [Read more...] about The Real Truth About Depression and My Survivors Guilt