I can’t believe I’m falling for depression’s unhelpful thinking. My work on this has been extensive. I have looked at each of the ten main unhelpful thinking styles in depth. And I have studied how depression uses these to control my actions very subtly, and worse, to control my thoughts. It is clear to me now that I cannot control events. Hurricanes, taxes, annual … [Read more...] about My Unhelpful Thinking Is at It Again
Guilt and Shame
Is depression spurring on my overachieving, or would I be an overachiever without depression? That’s what I am grappling with today. Understanding where this need to do is coming from, I am looking at all possibilities. I cannot remember a time where I didn’t feel the need to be productive. As far back as I can remember, I have always had a list of things I wanted to … [Read more...] about Has Depression made Me an Overachiever?
Like many who are employed by corporations, my day job includes working five days a week. This leaves two days for bigger, at-home, time-consuming projects. I spent last week's days off power washing the deck. Now this week, I spent my first day off staining parts of that same deck. The lower area is 16' X 32”’. And the upper is 8’ X 32’. And there are stairs from the upper … [Read more...] about My Self-Care is Really a To-Do List, Is That OK?
Suddenly, I am back to thinking about survivor’s guilt. Having survived my hospitalization for Major Depressive Disorder, I am moving forward. Using the tools I discovered over the past 28 months, I am finding myself equipped to address depression’s ideas. And depression still has ideas. It wants me to come out and play. It misses our time together. Depression has had to … [Read more...] about Having Survivor’s Guilt About Depression, Is It OK To Feel OK?
I am spending time researching how I measure up. Are my depressive episodes my fault, depression’s fault, or nobody’s fault? Have I had a choice in each of the big meltdowns I have endured over the past 40+ years? Should I be blaming depression? Are these episodes the byproduct of not having tools and not wanting to know what was going on? Thinking I was less than … [Read more...] about Is It Possible To Measure Depression and My Actions?