Last night I had a virtual therapy appointment. I remember my therapist had asked a question and I was responding. It was my side of the story I was relating. Not just the facts or my feelings about it, but I was defending my actions. My decision and why I made it was a source of pride I suppose. My therapist stopped me and said, “I hear rationalization.” He had caught … [Read more...] about My Psychiatrist Asked Me, “When Is Enough, Enough”?
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
I must tell you I am very unsettled about this. On the one hand, I have collected and am using a wealth of knowledge about depression. My personal experience includes high-functioning depression, concealed depression, and Major Depressive Disorder. Recently, it was pointed out by my psychiatrist that Anxiety has been present. My life with depression spans 50 years., and … [Read more...] about What Should I Do with All I Have Learned About Depression?
High-functioning depression, that’s me. I can fake it like the best of them. Hiding my true feelings is an art form for me. There are so many ways I can tell you “I’m fine, I'm excited, I’m darn glad to be here.” In some ways, this is always true. Being anywhere is always preferable to the alternative. But being myself in every situation is difficult. And letting … [Read more...] about With Depression, Am I Ready To Tell the Truth to My Psychiatrist? – Part I
Like many who are employed by corporations, my day job includes working five days a week. This leaves two days for bigger, at-home, time-consuming projects. I spent last week's days off power washing the deck. Now this week, I spent my first day off staining parts of that same deck. The lower area is 16' X 32”’. And the upper is 8’ X 32’. And there are stairs from the upper … [Read more...] about My Self-Care is Really a To-Do List, Is That OK?
Yesterday, I worked outside. I mowed the grass in front of the house and along the gravel driveway. This led to mowing along the fence, and into the orchard. Getting the weed eater out, I trimmed along the front porch and the outside of the fence behind the strawberries. From there I worked around the deck and the back of the house. As I trimmed, I watched for snakes, but … [Read more...] about Just Another Monday in The Land of Depression