It has been months since it I've had a sucicidal thought. And while I know that I am not circling the drain, it is still a bit unnerving to have a suicidal thought flash in my head. Things have really been going well. I am healthy and am finally beginning to shed some of my Covid pounds. There have been many positive occasions in the past few months. A wedding, a first … [Read more...] about Why Is Depression Having Me Think the S-Word Again?
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
I’m backsliding. Where I once wanted to know what someone else was thinking, now I am back to tell them what I want to say. OK, so this is not an every time thing, but as I re-read my post from September 18, 2019, I can see I am missing something. READ: Is This What Getting To Know You Feels Like That day, when I shared time with two people, I connected in a very concrete … [Read more...] about Is This What Getting to Know you Feels Like? Part II
At least that is how it feels today. Today I had a 3-month update with my psychiatrist who is handling my depression medicine. When asked how I was doing, I could confidently say, “I am doing very well.” And I mean it. We agreed I would stay on 300 grams of Wellbutrin XL and that I would see her in 4 months this time. I left feeling good. Yet on the ride home, I admitted … [Read more...] about Blog Post #400 – Why My Depression’s Aftermath Never Ends
Some days, there is no fairy tale ending. I wish it weren’t so. But depression and I are locked in a tug of war. Sometimes I can pull harder. And often depression pulls the hardest. Depression and I have been engaged in this tug of war for over 40 years. You would think I would understand the way it works by now. And the more tools I collect to deal with depression, the … [Read more...] about Sensational Ways Depression Sometimes Wins
Not facing my depression was a direct slap in the face to Self-Care. I have written extensively about my struggle with self-care. Finding the balance between “just say no,” and the needs of others can be confusing. Self-care starts with the premise that you must put your oxygen mask on before helping others. I get that, but my generation was not brought up automatically … [Read more...] about Never Again Will You Not Face Your Depression