Getting stuck in my depression happens a lot. Things on the surface appear to be going well, but underneath the surface, there is a mish-mosh of stuff going on. Oh, the miracle of concealed, high-functioning depression. Of course, the easy way out is to blame my lack of forward momentum on my depression. I can say “If I didn’t have depression, then I would …” But this … [Read more...] about If I Did Not Have Depression, Would I Have Already Written 500 Blog Posts About My Depression? (This is only post #489)
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
Of course, it could be me and I’m blaming my ups and down on my depression. This can easily lead to the “which came first, the chicken or the egg?” Am I using depression as an excuse for getting to the edge of long-term success and then sabotaging my success? Or is it depression that creeps in and takes away the success I have earned? I feel like the dog who chased cars … [Read more...] about 3 Ways Depression is Keeping My Continued Success Away
Looks like I am shoulding all over myself this morning. I find myself looking at past opportunities that I have squandered and not fully taken advantage of. Of course, I am focusing on what I remember as big, earthshattering occurrences, the likes of which I may never see again. So already I have hit three unhelpful thinking styles. All or Nothing, Time Travel, and … [Read more...] about Was It My Depression or Did I Really Do That?
I don’t say this to brag. In some respects, I wish I had never started writing this blog. It all started the day after I checked out of 5 East. I had made the decision in the previous 4 days that I was going to face my depression head-on. This meant I would never again run from it. Even more important, I was not going to sweep it under the rug and pretend that it never … [Read more...] about For 1062 Days, I Have Posted Thoughts About My Depression Every 2.196 Days
Sometimes, I can see what my future might look like. Other times, the screen goes blank and all I hear are crickets chirping in the background. My goal is to build a balanced life with depression. I am not expecting to find a cure or to be in a test group that validates a successful drug program. I am not so sure that even a reset of my thought processes would remove … [Read more...] about Is My Plan Really Just Loosely Formed?