Facing my depression, and saying it's name out loud, has been work. Sometimes the work has been exhausting. It has only been easy on rare occasions. Most of the time some effort is required on my part to call out depression’s antics and to work through an alternative that doesn’t involve unhelpful thinking. Yet in the past, time travel worked. I was able to ruminate … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Just Make It Easy And Stop Facing My Depression?
I don’t say this to brag. In some respects, I wish I had never started writing this blog. It all started the day after I checked out of 5 East. I had made the decision in the previous 4 days that I was going to face my depression head-on. This meant I would never again run from it. Even more important, I was not going to sweep it under the rug and pretend that it never … [Read more...] about For 1062 Days, I Have Posted Thoughts About My Depression Every 2.196 Days
Well, it was going to be my New Year’s resolution if I got around to making new year’s resolutions. For the past 6 weeks or so, I have been wondering why I was feeling so rushed. This led to my decision that I wasn’t setting aside any self-care time. Every day had become full of life’s needs, and I found myself gravitating towards everyone else’s needs. My resolution then … [Read more...] about I Broke My New Year’s Resolution After Only 4 Days
Before I began learning about how depression works, all I knew were my spectacular crashes. As I thought back on my life, I could clearly see four major episodes that my depression exacerbated. These were times where I was circling the drain, was up against the wall, and could not see any way forward. To an outsider, I can only imagine how that must have looked. But for … [Read more...] about My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces
*Update December 7, 2021 As I reread my list, I can see where I have made progress and where I still need to work. The reality is I will always need to work on at least one of the 10 unhelpful thinking styles. Living with depression means first acknowledging that I have it. And then quickly I say, “I have depression, depression does not have me.” And most days now, this … [Read more...] about The 10 Things I Just Cannot Do, Part II*