I can’t believe I’m falling for depression’s unhelpful thinking. My work on this has been extensive. I have looked at each of the ten main unhelpful thinking styles in depth. And I have studied how depression uses these to control my actions very subtly, and worse, to control my thoughts. It is clear to me now that I cannot control events. Hurricanes, taxes, annual … [Read more...] about My Unhelpful Thinking Is at It Again
Last night I had a virtual therapy appointment. I remember my therapist had asked a question and I was responding. It was my side of the story I was relating. Not just the facts or my feelings about it, but I was defending my actions. My decision and why I made it was a source of pride I suppose. My therapist stopped me and said, “I hear rationalization.” He had caught … [Read more...] about My Psychiatrist Asked Me, “When Is Enough, Enough”?
I went to my psychiatrist because I felt things were beginning to slide. Having months of relief from the crippling actions of depression, things had plateaued. I noticed that things were only OK. Not bad, not great, not really anything but OK. Each day was beginning to be the same. There was this feeling that I wasn’t making progress, that I was stalled, and she set up … [Read more...] about Day Five – I Think Adding Prozac Is Helping
High-functioning depression, that’s me. I can fake it like the best of them. Hiding my true feelings is an art form for me. There are so many ways I can tell you “I’m fine, I'm excited, I’m darn glad to be here.” In some ways, this is always true. Being anywhere is always preferable to the alternative. But being myself in every situation is difficult. And letting … [Read more...] about With Depression, Am I Ready To Tell the Truth to My Psychiatrist? – Part I
I am not circling the drain and the abyss is not on my radar. My daily routine is not a struggle. As I go through my day, I am aware of the most unhelpful thinking that I come up with. In fact, many of the ten unhelpful thinking styles that I learned about, I have not used in months. This includes all or nothing thinking. This has been my go-to attitude when things felt … [Read more...] about My Depression Is Sneaking Around With It’s Unhelpful Thinking