It has been months since it I've had a sucicidal thought. And while I know that I am not circling the drain, it is still a bit unnerving to have a suicidal thought flash in my head. Things have really been going well. I am healthy and am finally beginning to shed some of my Covid pounds. There have been many positive occasions in the past few months. A wedding, a first … [Read more...] about Why Is Depression Having Me Think the S-Word Again?
Coping Statements for Depression
I’m backsliding. Where I once wanted to know what someone else was thinking, now I am back to tell them what I want to say. OK, so this is not an every time thing, but as I re-read my post from September 18, 2019, I can see I am missing something. READ: Is This What Getting To Know You Feels Like That day, when I shared time with two people, I connected in a very concrete … [Read more...] about Is This What Getting to Know you Feels Like? Part II
I do have a choice about this. I can continue to feel sorry for myself and blame my lack of happiness on depression, other’s actions, or the pandemic. There are lots of potential opportunities to make myself the victim at the hands of any of these. And depression, why it can have a role in how I feel even when I don’t have a clue it is having a role in how I feel. So, … [Read more...] about Am I Expecting Too Much Or Not Enough Out Of My Life?
When asked how I am doing, I can once again say “I’m doing good.” I know this because I am making plans again. When I was circling the drain, I could not envision a future. Heck, I was having trouble seeing the edge of the drain. And feeling up against the wall made it almost impossible to see or feel anything. Making it through the day was often the high point. When I am … [Read more...] about My Depression Is Better, But Where Is Happy?
At least that is how it feels today. Today I had a 3-month update with my psychiatrist who is handling my depression medicine. When asked how I was doing, I could confidently say, “I am doing very well.” And I mean it. We agreed I would stay on 300 grams of Wellbutrin XL and that I would see her in 4 months this time. I left feeling good. Yet on the ride home, I admitted … [Read more...] about Blog Post #400 – Why My Depression’s Aftermath Never Ends