It is clear to those around me that something was on my mind. I’ve never been very good at hiding things, even though that was one of the main tasks that depression wanted me to focus on. Secrets were and are one of depression’s tools that kept me listening to it and it alone. I…
Category: Sleep Issues
I’m sending up flares, but no one see’s my SOS
I have let my self-care take a back seat to the events unfolding around me. I’ve tried to send signals that something is not right. This includes saying to people “something is not right.” I’ve been writing about how I have had major trouble getting out of bed in the morning. This has been an…
Get up, get up, get up!
This is starting to be a broken record. Why can’t I just get up? Last night I went to bed just before 10 PM. I set my alarm for 7 AM. This gave me an extra hour of sleep beyond the “8” I require. Of course, even 8 hours of sleep is probably an hour…
Getting up is still an issue
I thought with the new year, things would change. My attitude towards getting out of bed in the morning has not been moved by the beginning of a new decade. While not quite as dramatic as going from 1999 to the year 2,000, a new decade, to me, is a chance to reevaluate my life…
“I know that’s going to leave a mark”
The last year of this decade was overly complicated, frightening and dramatic. It started off in January of 2019 with waking up not being able to breath. It wasn’t that there was no air, it was as if someone had taken the life-giving oxygen out of the air that I was breathing in. I would…
I just want to get out of bed
Why is this so darn hard? What is it that is keeping me from doing this? I set my alarm with the most optimistic of intentions and fall asleep. But something goes sideways between the time I go to bed and the time I had picked to get up. And I hit the snooze alarm….
Our lives’ are all about making choices
Sometimes it’s as simple as what will I have for breakfast. Should I just have a bowl of cereal, maybe with banana slices on it? Or should I make eggs, possibly bacon, toast, and grits? What about skipping breakfast and just grabbing coffee? Each of these choices, small as they may be, come with consequences….
It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Here are the clues I’m not on my game. I don’t sleep well. I am back to the waking every hour or so. When I work late and close the building, I am going to bed about 1 AM. I wake at 3, then 4, then 5:30, 6:30, AM or so, and I keep trying…
That didn’t last long, now I’m not getting out of bed
Searching the internet for a picture of “not getting out of bed,” I found that Dr. Seuss had written about this. So maybe it is a “thing.” Not Thing 1 or Thing 2, but a thing. It seems almost everyone has trouble at times wanting to get out of bed. With the warm covers drawn…
What’s the point of my life?
I thought I would be “cured” by now. Seven months after my hospitalization for Major Depressive Disorder, it feels like I should be on top of my game. I have medication helping me, a therapist, a psychiatrist and peer support. In September, I flew to Chicago and spent the weekend learning SMART Recovery at their…
