Predictable, steady, expectable, certain, sure, unsurprising, humdrum, obvious, and foreseeable. That is my life. And that has been my life for several months. I guess it is always something. And depression has clouded my life with generous helpings of unhelpful thinking. A year ago, I was fixated on not being able to get started in the morning. It took five months of … [Read more...] about What Depression Doesn’t Want You To Know About Unhelpful Thinking Styles
Depression is a disease, not a crutch. Many diseases get major attention and major funding for research. Their existence is not questioned and their status as a legitimate health condition is secure. Very few people, for example, would dispute the fact that cancer is real. People respect the havoc it can inflict on someone. Mental illness deserves the same respect. People who … [Read more...] about Depression Will Not be My Crutch
My plan for the week is to break my thoughts into chunks. There will be a chunk for the depression. Then there is a chunk for self-care. I wish I could report that I am doing a wonderful job with the self-care piece of my recovery, but it hasn’t been as simple as I thought it would be. Getting out of my own head for a few minutes has been a challenge. The thoughts just … [Read more...] about No chunks. It’s everything, all the time.
Getting past the first day is a positive step. I am grateful for all the support I have received. While I am still afraid of what lies ahead, I am going to do the things I said I would do today. This includes finding a psychiatrist for medication and an LCSW to talk with. This morning, I am feeling less chatty, but know that the act of writing, of journaling, is helpful. … [Read more...] about My First Day
Depression is not my Boss – Day 1 This morning I videotaped my thoughts about beginning this new journey. I look pretty rough in the video, but it is me, this morning. And as I write this, I am already having to deal with depression. As I face my life and what’s next, my first thoughts were “I am all alone and I must figure this out by myself.” This makes me feel afraid. Then … [Read more...] about Depression Is Not My Boss