I’m just a mess this morning. So much I want to do, but there is so much I must do. But first, the trash needs to be taken out. Something finally turned into a science project in the refrigerator and I am the one who must take it outside, empty the contents into the garbage can, then hose out the Tupperware container before bringing it back into the house to go in the … [Read more...] about Life is getting in the way of living
I thought with the new year, things would change. My attitude towards getting out of bed in the morning has not been moved by the beginning of a new decade. While not quite as dramatic as going from 1999 to the year 2,000, a new decade, to me, is a chance to reevaluate my life and my attitude towards it. To that end, I have made one New Year’s resolution so far, to write … [Read more...] about Getting up is still an issue
I thought I would be “cured” by now. Seven months after my hospitalization for Major Depressive Disorder, it feels like I should be on top of my game. I have medication helping me, a therapist, a psychiatrist and peer support. In September, I flew to Chicago and spent the weekend learning SMART Recovery at their 25th Annual Conference. I have ordered and have read many … [Read more...] about What’s the point of my life?
It was totally unexpected. I guess I had secretly hoped it would happen but was very guarded in my expectations. It has been five days since my Psychiatrist increased my Prozac from 20 mg to 40 mg daily. My instructions are to let him know in 3 weeks how I am feeling, sooner if there are noticeable side effects. Well, this morning I noticed a welcome side … [Read more...] about I bumped into my old self this morning
We are either moving forward or we are dead. There is no middle ground. Even when we feel nothing is happening, that what we are doing doesn’t matter, life is going on. My personal thoughts about my self-worth and my value, my contributions to society and the greater good, are done against this backdrop. Whether I decide I am valuable just as I am, with all my flaws … [Read more...] about Afraid or not, life still marches forward