I know I should be happy to be alive. Just getting out of bed each morning is an accomplishment. When you think about how life manifests itself, most life just is. Look at lichens and moss. They have hung around for billions of years in pretty much the same state as we see them today. Now if you try to clean moss off something, it is hard as hell to do. And most times, … [Read more...] about When will the fun start?
The more I learn about depression, the more I see how crafty and stealth it can be. It works just below the conscious level, moving things around at will, so in the end, it pushes you up against the wall. Well, at least that has been my experience. It sneaks around the edges of my life and then springs on me when everything seems to be going great. Depression is not … [Read more...] about Why do the good times always end?
Silence was my only friend while driving. It wasn’t always like that. I remember buying a power booster for a Dodge Ram Charger I owned. I mounted two speakers in frames on either side of the back seat. I had an 8-track and a stereo cassette player mounted under the dash. I loved to roll the windows down and sing as I drove. So how have I ended up driving silently? At one … [Read more...] about I stopped playing music when I’m driving
That’s how I am beginning to feel. As I get a better understanding of depression and my responsibilities for keeping it under control, I am slowing down. This is new to me. Being very competitive, I am always measuring things. How many steps to the top entrance to the building, how many tiles on the wall in the men’s room. How much are sales up year over year? So, hearing … [Read more...] about Hurry up and wait
I said I would not take the job. Of course, that was before the interview. That was before I spent an hour answering questions from seven board members. That was before I realized how much fun I was having. When I left the interview, it seemed like they wanted me. But you never know about these things. I had asked when they would be making their decision. I was told they would … [Read more...] about Am I running away again if I take this job?