This year, getting in the holiday spirit is not automatic. Traditionally, I have been all over the holidays. The traditions, getting together with family, getting out decorations has been enjoyable. When the kids were smaller, they helped fuel the excitement of the season. Christmas is on autopilot, and I am going through the motions. There…
Tag: anxiety treatment
28 weeks into recovery, now I have residual depression?
I knew living with depression was not going to be a cakewalk. There are challenges and setbacks, successes and snags in my recovery. Now I find out that there are response and remission. I know I was thinking of my recovery as remission. How naive is that? Speaking with my Peer Advocate today, I heard…
I stopped playing music when I’m driving
Silence was my only friend while driving. It wasn’t always like that. I remember buying a power booster for a Dodge Ram Charger I owned. I mounted two speakers in frames on either side of the back seat. I had an 8-track and a stereo cassette player mounted under the dash. I loved to roll…
Why am I still obsessing over this?
It’s done, I did not take the job. But I’m still rolling the decision over and over in my head. Am I sure I thought about it in the right way? Isn’t it possible it could have been good for me? Maybe it was running towards the future, not running away from the present. I…
Am I running away again if I take this job?
I said I would not take the job. Of course, that was before the interview. That was before I spent an hour answering questions from seven board members. That was before I realized how much fun I was having. When I left the interview, it seemed like they wanted me. But you never know about…
Am I going too fast?
Several people now have mentioned I should be slowing down. Is this what recovering from depression is about? Taking it easy? Making sure I have lots of self-care built into my day? Being aware of my automatic thoughts and slowing down my thinking so I do not make impulsive decisions? That seems like a lot…
10 self-care things I am doing to reduce stress
Let me tell you what I’ve learned. Up until six weeks ago, I never paid much attention to how I was taking care of myself. I didn’t understand the value of making time for me. It seemed so selfish and “about me.” It turns out that is exactly what self-care is all about. And I…
Can I tell you what I am thinking?
You won’t believe what the depression has put in my head. “I will never fly in an airplane again.” “I will never go camping.” “I will never have a healthy relationship with myself or with others.” Depression makes it easy to think all or nothing. In the hospital, never and always were my words of…
Is normalcy my new normal?
I don’t want to jinx it. As I build my life with the depression, I know the path is not straight. Yet for most of this past week, I have felt human. I have felt almost in control. I have felt a lot like me. That is exciting and frightening at the same time. I…
How will I know depression is coming again?
How can I stay out of the depths of despair? How can I recognize what’s going on in my head before I become obsessed with one idea, one thought, one depression guided way of thinking? I think the first thing is to acknowledge that I have depression. “But it doesn’t have me.” I am doing…
