Doing The Drugs

Prozac gave me a new outlook on life. I am not afraid to say it. I see the news, I know the public sentiment. Being pro-Big Pharma is not the cool thing to do. Politics and business practices aside, this drug has given me a glimpse of my former self. For that, I am thankful, grateful and glad.

My doctor said it will take four to six weeks before I will see the full benefit of the Prozac. Or, in that time, my doctor and I will determine that additional measures are required. Once again, I am seeing why having Medicine management beats out just having someone write a prescription.

I have not spoken to anyone who has taken Prozac. My first experience with it began 6 or 7 years ago. Secretly seeking help to stay on my game, I worked with a Psychiatrist in New Jersey. She prescribed Prozac, 20 mg. My body took a while to adjust. I got hot flashes for the first few weeks. They would come on as a wave of heat and sometimes nausea, always getting my full attention. I would have to find a quiet place and wait while they passed.

Then one morning, I woke and discovered I was “me.” Not anxious, not overly happy or sad, just me. That feeling was worth all the hot flashes and uncertainty about whether taking Prozac was going to be worth it.

Things went along increasingly well. And in that “boy I’m glad this worked” moment, I felt I did not need the Prozac anymore. By now, I was having my Primary Care Physician fill the prescription. At my request, he gave me instructions on how to cut back and then stop taking Prozac without crashing my system. His directions worked.

So, for the past year, I have been drugfree. I replaced the Prozac with four trips to the gym every week. The exercise produced positive endorphins. But it hasn’t been enough to keep my depression from coming back. And this time, it means business.

From the doctor’s in the hospital I learned that managing depression is forever, not just when you feel bad. Knowing the signs can help head off the onset of low times. Not paying attention to this has caused me to crash and burn, tumbling lower this time than anything I can remember.

Now I m back on Prozac. It will be a few more weeks before the full effects will be seen. The damage I have caused to my mind is staggering, if invisible. The toll it has taken on my body is clear. I have lost 30 pounds since January. Now, I started the year wanting to lose some weight, but the cycle accelerated last month, as I find food less and less attractive.

“I have depression, depression doesn’t have me.” I shout this from the rooftops and try to believe it. My experience tells me that Prozac will work. Once before, the drug had brought me back to being myself. But it is a waiting game. I need to have patience and work on my attitude, as I wait for the Prozac to work on my mind.

• Being on a journey towards improved mental health, I would appreciate any thoughts or comments readers have about how I can improve my chances for success. I welcome your ideas. Please share in the comments section or shoot me an email.