I have been writing about this for weeks.
Getting going in the morning is hard. And I want to take action by calling my doctor.
But, I have exhausted all of the reasons why and the reasons why not to make the call. There have been moments of clarity and then I am dashed against the wall. My ability to move this thought into action is non-existent.
Getting going in the morning is still my number 1 problem.
Why, after all these weeks, do I find myself stuck? Certainly, I can talk about it. There is plenty of time to write my thoughts and concerns about calling my Psychiatrist. Calling him, I could get to the bottom of my concerns about getting going in the morning.
READ MORE: Get up, get up, get up
Calling my doctor, there could be action towards a solution.
But, here I sit, writing out my fears about making the call. And, in this moment, I could be making the call. His office is open right now. I know that if I called and left a message that he would call me back. So what is keeping me from picking up the phone?
What unhelpful thinking style am I using that is holding me back from action?
Certainly, I am minimizing my problem. Oh, the doctor has more important things to do than address my issue of getting up and getting going. Besides, I have an appointment in a few weeks anyway. So why should I bother him?
In addition, I am catastrophizing my ability to get started in the morning, after having thought about and written about it at great length.
Using my blog, I have successfully worked through many stumbling blocks that depression has put in my path. But here and now, I am stuck. I cannot get past this issue. As I say that, I can see all or nothing thinking popping up. Knowing better doesn’t make it any easier to think better when depression is around.
I am ready to stop being ready and take action.
That being said, I am still in the same spot as when I started this entry. I am not on the phone to my doctor, I have not decided that there is no time like the present. And the result is, I am not any closer to getting this figured out than when I finally got out of bed this morning.
Stay tuned, the day is young.
I still might get beyond my limiting beliefs and make the call. Who knows, it might make getting out of bed easier.
My concealed depression is written under the alias “Depression is not my boss.” I have certifications in SMART Recovery and am a Global Career Development Facilitator.
Last year, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.