Remembering April 2 ½ years ago, I couldn’t begin to imagine I would see 2021.
Yet, I am here, REALLY HERE. I have plans for the future. Happily, my days are now filled with times of being in the moment. Each day I practice self-care in all of the forms that make me happy and recharge my batteries.
2 ½ years ago, I would not have thought any of this was possible.
Of course, in those days of circling the drain, I wasn’t focused enough to think of much of anything. Forcing myself out of bed was often the highlight of my day. This was followed by any excuse to go back to bed and declare the day over. This would reduce the guilt I felt for going to bed early.
Relief then was not possible. There were so many other unhelpful thoughts swirling around in my head.
Today is Thanksgiving Day in the US. I have been up for nearly an hour (it is 8:14 AM). Most of my “chores” have been accomplished; making coffee, emptying the dishwasher, filling the bird feeders, and taking my 300 MG of Wellbutrin.
By 2 PM, there will be 12 people, all family, at our home.
The past week has included much planning, cleaning, and anticipation. None of this was possible 2 ½ years ago. I wasn’t able to anticipate future events. Now, I am able to do that again. What a change! And I have other future events to anticipate. Mid-December, we are flying to visit my grandson and family. Thinking about this makes me smile.
I am so grateful and thankful that I can anticipate the future again.
Now I am on to the day. Getting the charcoal started is step one. I will be cooking the turkey on my Weber grill. I have done this many times over the years. But this will be the first time in 3 years. Depression can make all things look impossible. Now I cannot wait to get the grill going.