Concealed depression has been my life. I have racked up 43+ years of hiding my depression, even from myself. This has led me to jump through hoops and do all kinds of crazy shenanigans to keep it hidden. From ignoring it to justifying it by using an unhelpful thinking style, I have lived with depression…
Tag: wellness recovery action plan
There are still doors my keys do not open
The problem is not all or nothing. Although it feels like that when I am stuck, immobile and indecisive. Once the day gets going, I am better equipped to use the tools I have learned to meet and defeat problems as they come my way. Between SMART Recovery, WRAP training, Peer Support at On Our…
Seven journaling topics anyone can use
Even if you do not suffer from depression, the journaling process and the kind of deep inner exploration and evaluation it provides can be a key part of a wellness process. Why journal? “My diary – my journal – is my best friend. It has seen me through the worst and the best of times.”…
I’m feeling rushed today
And it’s my day off from my day job, a self-care day. Yet I once again did not get up early. I used the excuse that I got in just before midnight and didn’t get to bed until almost 1 AM. But I’ve used that excuse before, saying I need to make sure I get…
Three things I learned while circling the drain
Most of December and the first two weeks of January were draining as depression was trying it’s best to pull me under. Had I not been through this same process less than a year ago, I am sure the outcome would have been the same. But this time, I had tools and a Wellness Recovery…
My “picker” is not working right now
That was the coolest thing I had heard all day. My “picker” is not working. Someone had to explain it to me, as I was only partially sure I understood what the term meant. It turns out the reference is about “choosing a partner.” In the context of substance abuse or recovery, this partner may…
The end is the beginning?
I am not sure where I stand today. This lagging sense of dullness has not passed. It has been there in one form or another for weeks. Let me say right here that it is not that way 100% of the time. I have had some special moments over the holidays that I will treasure….
“I know that’s going to leave a mark”
The last year of this decade was overly complicated, frightening and dramatic. It started off in January of 2019 with waking up not being able to breath. It wasn’t that there was no air, it was as if someone had taken the life-giving oxygen out of the air that I was breathing in. I would…
It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Here are the clues I’m not on my game. I don’t sleep well. I am back to the waking every hour or so. When I work late and close the building, I am going to bed about 1 AM. I wake at 3, then 4, then 5:30, 6:30, AM or so, and I keep trying…
Have I reached a Plateau? Is it up or down from here?
30 weeks into my life with depression, I have plateaued. I have no clue as to what is next. It could be I am consolidating what I have learned, assessing what is working and then steeling myself for the next leg up. Or, I am nearer to the abyss than I have been in months,…
