Looks like I am shoulding all over myself this morning. I find myself looking at past opportunities that I have squandered and not fully taken advantage of. Of course, I am focusing on what I remember as big, earthshattering occurrences, the likes of which I may never see again. So already I have hit three unhelpful thinking styles. All or Nothing, Time Travel, and … [Read more...] about Was It My Depression or Did I Really Do That?
Unhelpful thinking
I’m Feeling Embarrassed and Guilty For Not Being a Better Patient
I know they are only trying to help. And I want to be helped. Or so I say. But is that true? Am I feeling so guilty and embarrassed about talking to someone about my depression that I am pushing away those who want to help? I did that with two therapists, and now I am close to pushing away my peer advocate. They are professionals who are in my life to help me learn to … [Read more...] about I’m Feeling Embarrassed and Guilty For Not Being a Better Patient
The Day Has Just Begun, Why Does Depression Think I’m Finished?
It could be a slight case of jet lag, or the fact that yesterday I worked a much later shift than normal. Or it may be a combination of the two. Either way, I am not feeling very productive this morning. That is the real culprit. It is not the fact that I am plodding along this morning. Feeling bad about plodding along is what’s going on. I am allowing myself to feel … [Read more...] about The Day Has Just Begun, Why Does Depression Think I’m Finished?
For 1062 Days, I Have Posted Thoughts About My Depression Every 2.196 Days
I don’t say this to brag. In some respects, I wish I had never started writing this blog. It all started the day after I checked out of 5 East. I had made the decision in the previous 4 days that I was going to face my depression head-on. This meant I would never again run from it. Even more important, I was not going to sweep it under the rug and pretend that it never … [Read more...] about For 1062 Days, I Have Posted Thoughts About My Depression Every 2.196 Days
Is My Plan Really Just Loosely Formed?
Sometimes, I can see what my future might look like. Other times, the screen goes blank and all I hear are crickets chirping in the background. My goal is to build a balanced life with depression. I am not expecting to find a cure or to be in a test group that validates a successful drug program. I am not so sure that even a reset of my thought processes would remove … [Read more...] about Is My Plan Really Just Loosely Formed?