What is it that I am not seeing? I am smart and can put two and two together. Well, I can when both twos are visible. If I cannot see one of the variables, I have a much harder time producing the correct answer. Plus, the correct answer to a math problem is much less complex than answering a question that involves two people. There must be a piece of the puzzle I have … [Read more...] about Is Depression Making Me Miss Something?
unhelpful thinking styles
Is My Plan Really Just Loosely Formed?
Sometimes, I can see what my future might look like. Other times, the screen goes blank and all I hear are crickets chirping in the background. My goal is to build a balanced life with depression. I am not expecting to find a cure or to be in a test group that validates a successful drug program. I am not so sure that even a reset of my thought processes would remove … [Read more...] about Is My Plan Really Just Loosely Formed?
With Depression, Why Can’t I Get Past the Past?
Today I am feeling sorry for myself. Ok, I have been dragging around feeling sorry for myself for at least a month. And at the same time, I have been trying to hide it from even myself. I can turn on the positive, let’s do anything attitude while at work. To me, I am giving 100% during the workday. The feedback I get from managers and employees is that I set the example and … [Read more...] about With Depression, Why Can’t I Get Past the Past?
Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)
Thirty-three months ago, I returned home after spending four days in 5 East. I was a mess, pure and simple. My diagnosis was Major Depressive Disorder, with suicidal ideation. Heck, just the name sounded like a gigantic problem. My depression left me with no ambition except to make it to the end of the day. My goal then was to make it until dark. Then I could reward myself … [Read more...] about Depression Is Not My Boss (Day 1 revisited)
I’m Too Busy to Be So Busy – Self-care Part II
What in the world? I know I’m not sure I know what is going on either. But what I do know is I haven’t had a chance to slow down since early December. It’s been over 7 weeks since I felt like I had a few minutes I could take for myself. Getting on a plane and flying to see my grandson was about me and my family. But it wasn’t relaxing in the “I’m on vacation so get out the … [Read more...] about I’m Too Busy to Be So Busy – Self-care Part II