From the 20,000-foot view, I can see patterns. As I move away from the abyss, I reach out to friends, family, and passers-by. I am more comfortable speaking with others and garnering opinions about this or that. I am much more able to seek out others as I work on projects. While not gregarious, I am more open and talkative. But as depression works its magic, I begin … [Read more...] about Why Am I Alone Again While My Depression is Winning?
unhealthy thinking styles
3 Ways Depression is Keeping My Continued Success Away
Of course, it could be me and I’m blaming my ups and down on my depression. This can easily lead to the “which came first, the chicken or the egg?” Am I using depression as an excuse for getting to the edge of long-term success and then sabotaging my success? Or is it depression that creeps in and takes away the success I have earned? I feel like the dog who chased cars … [Read more...] about 3 Ways Depression is Keeping My Continued Success Away
With Depression, I Feel Survivors Guilt for People I Do Not Know
I have felt guilty for being alive before. When someone I had been to group sessions with took his life, I felt very guilty to still be alive. The shock of his decision was more than I could handle at that moment. So, I jumped to feeling guilty that it was not me. And then there is the shame of not doing something, anything. Not that I could have. While we were in a … [Read more...] about With Depression, I Feel Survivors Guilt for People I Do Not Know
Is It Really Just Me Changing My Attitude?
Making changes in my attitude towards events should be easy. The power goes out at the house. I can cry about it, saying things like, “well that’s just great, now I cannot work on the computer.” Or, I can say, “power out? No problem, because I have the generator on the porch and I can run the refrigerator, a light, the TV, and the internet. And by running the plugs a certain … [Read more...] about Is It Really Just Me Changing My Attitude?
Was It My Depression or Did I Really Do That?
Looks like I am shoulding all over myself this morning. I find myself looking at past opportunities that I have squandered and not fully taken advantage of. Of course, I am focusing on what I remember as big, earthshattering occurrences, the likes of which I may never see again. So already I have hit three unhelpful thinking styles. All or Nothing, Time Travel, and … [Read more...] about Was It My Depression or Did I Really Do That?