Non-essential businesses are closing. The mall attached to where I work is closed. It is an eerie sight. With gates down, access is limited to the occasional security guard making the rounds. And at first, there were custodians cleaning the floors and seating surfaces. At another local mall, Chick-Fil-A has a tent set up near…
Tag: SMART Recovery
People thought I was dead
That is a very sobering thought. Six weeks after getting out of the hospital, I finally contacted my mentor. He had been checking the obituaries. And while I had stayed in touch with another person for over two years, I feel off the grid last summer and stopped responding to her emails. I had the…
Five names for my depression
Concealed depression has been my life. I have racked up 43+ years of hiding my depression, even from myself. This has led me to jump through hoops and do all kinds of crazy shenanigans to keep it hidden. From ignoring it to justifying it by using an unhelpful thinking style, I have lived with depression…
There are still doors my keys do not open
The problem is not all or nothing. Although it feels like that when I am stuck, immobile and indecisive. Once the day gets going, I am better equipped to use the tools I have learned to meet and defeat problems as they come my way. Between SMART Recovery, WRAP training, Peer Support at On Our…
Three things I learned while circling the drain
Most of December and the first two weeks of January were draining as depression was trying it’s best to pull me under. Had I not been through this same process less than a year ago, I am sure the outcome would have been the same. But this time, I had tools and a Wellness Recovery…
My “picker” is not working right now
That was the coolest thing I had heard all day. My “picker” is not working. Someone had to explain it to me, as I was only partially sure I understood what the term meant. It turns out the reference is about “choosing a partner.” In the context of substance abuse or recovery, this partner may…
“I know that’s going to leave a mark”
The last year of this decade was overly complicated, frightening and dramatic. It started off in January of 2019 with waking up not being able to breath. It wasn’t that there was no air, it was as if someone had taken the life-giving oxygen out of the air that I was breathing in. I would…
Seven reasons I am ready for the New Year
I am sure I will make a New Year’s resolution or two. But I won’t need to go far to find them. My resolutions or plan for the new year is the same today as it was yesterday. And it is encompassed in SMART and WRAP training. Without the tools, ideas and support of these…
New attitude, new focus, new desk location?
Right now, I have moving my desk on my list with a lower priority than scheduling my colonoscopy. But the truth is, each time I move my desk, I get a renewed sense of purpose. The actions of cleaning, organizing, and then actually moving the desk gives me a “fresh start.” And happily, I have…
Surviving Depression and thriving as I write my 200th blog post
I’m still alive and able to make choices about my life! Approaching my 200th blog post, I went back and read some of my earlier posts. Boy, I was really a mess. In some ways I still am. Here’s part of what I wrote on my 100th blog post: That first morning, I was told…
