Before I began learning about how depression works, all I knew were my spectacular crashes. As I thought back on my life, I could clearly see four major episodes that my depression exacerbated. These were times where I was circling the drain, was up against the wall, and could not see any way forward. To an outsider, I can only imagine how that must have looked. But for … [Read more...] about My Depression Operates in The Smallest Spaces
Having control over my attitude towards events is all I can do. But that one thing is extremely powerful. It sent men to the moon after the Soviet Union put Sputnik into space. The US program was still launching high-altitude weather balloons. After Sputnik, the attitude of the country was “we have to do something.” And Kennedy making that promise, in front of the world … [Read more...] about With Depression, I Can Do What I Want, Can’t I?
The first email I can find about the project was from the middle of March. (Please read to the end. Sometimes I need to warm up to the depression part) That was 5 months ago. Then, it seemed like only a matter of weeks and the garage construction would be underway. With three estimates in hand and conversations with all three contractors, we had made our choice. March … [Read more...] about OK, I’m Ready To Get Started!
The recycling must be taken for pick up tomorrow and the trash must go to the landfill. There is no publicly funded trash or recycling pick-up in the rural community we live in. If you want trash pickup at your home, you must pay a company to come and get it. Cardboard and aluminum cans can still be recycled at the landfill. Plastics, glass, and everything else is no longer … [Read more...] about Unhelpful Thinking Says There’s No Time, Not Even For Self-care
That calm, clear feeling arrived two days ago. Even having the oven stop working after I used the auto-clean feature hasn’t dulled my sense of “I’m Ok.” I am enjoying this feeling. Understanding that this will not last forever, I am soaking it in. And the sense of balance is still with me today, as I start day three. Having balance does not make me feel special. I am not … [Read more...] about Is My Life With Depression Really in Balance?