Imagine saying this out loud: “My last bottom was the deepest, darkest, most horrible place I have ever been.” Yet that was me last year. Reading through some of my older writing, I came across this line. It reached out and stunned me. How could I have written that? I had no idea I was…
Tag: my concealed depression
Why Do I Think in Terms of All or Nothing?
I tell myself I avoid drama, and yet many of my waking hours are spent creating all or nothing situations in my head. I interrupt someone and get a short response. Immediately, my mind goes to the worst possible meaning of that response. They don’t love me. They’re mad at me for something. What did…
Concealed Depression is my day to day life
The most important thing to remember about concealed depression is you will not feel much of anything. But that’s OK. Feelings get in the way and muddy the waters. Facts are easier to deal with and don’t have an agenda. Feelings and emotions can take time to sort out and slow down the process. My…
I Found 7 Tips for Living with Depression
Depression is a serious mood disorder that affects millions of people in the U.S. every year — but an array of effective treatments and strategies are available. Annually, about 1 in 15 adults will live with depression or experience at least one major depressive episode. In 2017, an estimated 17.3 million adults “had at least one major…
I Am Tired Of Being Tired – Part II
Today has been much like most recent days. Certain topics are not on my radar. I am clunking around in a daze, hoping that the answer to why I am feeling blah will pull me aside and reveal itself to me. Why is life so empty? Why can’t I get it together? Where is the…
Does Wearing a Mask Mean I am Afraid?
It’s not that I don’t think COVID 19 is real. Unlike COVID 19, I spent years concealing my disease, working around it as a person with high-functioning depression. My relationship with depression has been an evolutionary process. As I learn more about how it works, I can see where I have bought into depression madness…
And Just Like That, it is Gone!
Auto-recovery is an urban legend. Well, at least for me today it is. Having finished a page and a half of my latest blog post, I pissed off my laptop somehow and Word closed. Historically, when I re-open Word, there is a list of auto-recovery documents on the left side of the screen. From there,…
Can I consistently feel better?
I just want to be better than I am now. Not great, magnificent, or even “damn fine”, just better. This whole depression thing is tiring me out. Every day, I am reminded of what I have lost. The things that could have been popping up at the oddest of times, ruining the beginnings of being…
I Don’t Often See It, but I Always Have a Choice
It hit me today while I was attending a group meeting. Very often the meetings are started with check-in. Each participant in the group has a chance to say how they are feeling or talk for a minute about something that is going on in their lives. Participation is not mandatory, and anyone can pass…
“If I Live Through This, I Want Someone to be Able to See That They Can Survive.”
The country music icon Naomi Judd told ABC News and WebMD contributor, Robin Roberts, that she began to feel what she called “completely debilitating and life-threatening depression” in 2010. Read the entire article. She says she “would come home and not leave the house for 3 weeks and not get outta my pajamas, not practice…
