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“I Suffer From Depression.” Here’s What I Am Doing About It.

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Depression Cannot Keep Me from Being Thankful

January 7, 2022 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

depression cannot keep my from being thankful

I am thankful for: The fact that I am still alive after a lifetime ( over 60 years) living with high-functioning depressionMy family as they continue to support me, love me, and enjoy my companyMy ability to make choices for I can always choose my attitude towards eventsMy dog, for the unconditional love she sharesThe four seasons, each reminding me of the change’s life … [Read more...] about Depression Cannot Keep Me from Being Thankful

What Will Vacation Feel Like As I Change Medication?

October 13, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I am changing medicine while on vacation and this makes me nervous and worried that the hard to get out of bed feeling will linger.

I’m completely off my feed. And I have been since Sunday. It is hard to stay focused on anything other than my almost 16-month-old grandson. The trip up from Virginia included an overnight stop in New Jersey. This was a chance to visit with my son and daughter-in-law. They were warm and very hospitable. Then it was pork roll and egg for breakfast as I headed on to … [Read more...] about What Will Vacation Feel Like As I Change Medication?

What Makes Me Feel Like A Visitor in My Own Body?

October 3, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Making sense out of my feelings concerning my thoughts is leaving me not in control of my body

Why do I feel as if I am the only person sitting in the audience? Things that gave me joy are happening and I am not joining in. Making a call to my 94-year-old Mother is hard. There was a time when I would check in every night on my way home from work. Now I use the fact that she is in an Assisted Living community to justify putting off making a call. Mom doesn’t have an … [Read more...] about What Makes Me Feel Like A Visitor in My Own Body?

Getting Back to Therapy Wasn’t What I Expected

September 14, 2021 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I expected more from my first session with my therapist, but received an intake interview

For some reason, I envisioned a breakthrough session last night. By the end of the zoom meeting, I thought all my cares would be lifted and I would have found a nugget of truth I could work with until the next session. My anticipation of our first meeting under the new framework was hard to contain. After all, we had done some great work together. It was February 5th when … [Read more...] about Getting Back to Therapy Wasn’t What I Expected

Why I’m Still Dealing with The Fallout From MDD

October 7, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

My major depressive disorder is still casuing stress as I deal with the bills and the payments for services

Every time I think I have gotten all the pieces sorted out regarding my treatment for depression, a new wrinkle appears. Learning to live with depression and understanding my relationship with it has been eye-opening. Going from concealing it, not facing it, never even saying the word to now acknowledging it has been a roller coaster ride. And on top of that, I am dealing … [Read more...] about Why I’m Still Dealing with The Fallout From MDD

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder. With 40+ years of living with high-functioning depression, I write my blog to find answers. 

I am genuinely determined to figure out my personal relationship with depression. I got carried away searching for answers and earned a  certification in  SMART Recovery. 

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