If I am “cured” of depression, who will be my friend? Boy, that sounds terrible as I read what I just wrote. And there are several things that jump out at me about that statement. First, I know I will never be cured. A broken leg heals, but that is not the same. Researchers are looking for a cure for cancer, healing those who have it. A cure means people will not die … [Read more...] about Just Me and My Depression
Why? I’m still not sure what to say to my new Psychiatrist. And the appointment is less than five hours away. Yes, I have made some notes and collected documents. I have my Aetna Insurance card and my drivers license. In the bathroom, I hung a large cloth bag to collect all my current prescription medication, plus the supplements I am taking. Once again, I have all the … [Read more...] about I’m a Little Nervous This Morning
I have been afraid to write about this subject. While people who have suicidal ideation will get it, the vast majority of people do not understand this or are afraid to talk about it. For 43+ years, I was afraid of getting anywhere near the subject. It turns out, I have a major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation. My suicidal thoughts are not an everyday … [Read more...] about “Those Thoughts,” Are They My Suicidal Ideation?
Some days it is a pebble and the hill is hardly noticeable. Other days, it is a boulder and the hill is more of a mountain, that ascends almost vertically from the valley floor. During these days, my depression is everything. Concealing it and acting to the world like nothing is wrong takes all my energy. And I mean every single ounce of energy I can muster to keep people … [Read more...] about Every Day I Push the Same Rock Up the Same Hill
Canceled implies something was going to happen, but now it is not. For example, “school is canceled because of heavy snow.” This is clear. School was going to take place, but now it will not because of the snow. Small towns all over the country have canceled Memorial Day. No parade, no floats, and not a bit of rhubarb pie. Public swimming pools are not opening. There … [Read more...] about Memorial Day Festival is Canceled? How Is That Possible?