If I am “cured” of depression, who will be my friend? Boy, that sounds terrible as I read what I just wrote. And there are several things that jump out at me about that statement. First, I know I will never be cured. A broken leg heals, but that is not the same. Researchers are…
Tag: MDD
I’m a Little Nervous This Morning
Why? I’m still not sure what to say to my new Psychiatrist. And the appointment is less than five hours away. Yes, I have made some notes and collected documents. I have my Aetna Insurance card and my drivers license. In the bathroom, I hung a large cloth bag to collect all my current prescription…
“Those Thoughts,” Are They My Suicidal Ideation?
I have been afraid to write about this subject. While people who have suicidal ideation will get it, the vast majority of people do not understand this or are afraid to talk about it. For 43+ years, I was afraid of getting anywhere near the subject. It turns out, I have a major depressive disorder,…
Every Day I Push the Same Rock Up the Same Hill
Some days it is a pebble and the hill is hardly noticeable. Other days, it is a boulder and the hill is more of a mountain, that ascends almost vertically from the valley floor. During these days, my depression is everything. Concealing it and acting to the world like nothing is wrong takes all my…
Memorial Day Festival is Canceled? How Is That Possible?
Canceled implies something was going to happen, but now it is not. For example, “school is canceled because of heavy snow.” This is clear. School was going to take place, but now it will not because of the snow. Small towns all over the country have canceled Memorial Day. No parade, no floats, and not…
This Year, A Little Rain Is OK
I do not care if it rains all week, I am happy to be alive. And guess what, my wish is coming true. The forecast is for seven days of showers. The best news is that my garden will get daily watering as the plants establish themselves. And then the days going into Memorial Day…
If I Only Had 10 Days to Live
A year ago, my focus was on Major Depressive Disorder. Would I figure it out? Was there life for me going forward? Could I see past the wall that I was up against? Although at that moment, I could not see the big picture, somewhere in my anatomy, I knew I would make it. Remember,…
What is Depression and Why Do I Have It?
Beginning my second year with Major Depressive Disorder, I am still not leading a balanced life. Now things are certainly much, much better than they were a year ago. I have hope and can see a way forward. Last year, I was up against the wall and saw NO way forward. It was all abyss….
What Will the Coming Year Look Like?
Last April, as I left the hospital diagnosed with major depressive disorder, that was all I could think about. Now, a year later, I have the added worry of COVID-19. This begs the question, what will the coming year look like? Tackling my depression, I found proven techniques, tips, support groups, therapist and a Psychiatrist…
I’m Early for my Therapy Appointment
I am always early. If I am on time, I feel like I am late. Waiting in the parking lot for my therapist to arrive, I have scrolled through more Facebook than I usually do in a week. I had to decide whether to drive home from work just long enough to turn around and…
