I have been afraid to write about this subject. While people who have suicidal ideation will get it, the vast majority of people do not understand this or are afraid to talk about it. For 43+ years, I was afraid of getting anywhere near the subject. It turns out, I have a major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation. My suicidal thoughts are not an everyday … [Read more...] about “Those Thoughts,” Are They My Suicidal Ideation?
living a balanced life
Super Saturday – Maybe I Did Need Some Time Off
I have gotten a myriad of things done today. It is day two of my mini-vacation and I am more relaxed than yesterday. In fact, yesterday I was scattered all over the place. Today, my list and my priorities are more aligned. Having purchased the tomato cages yesterday, putting them around the plants in the garden was an easy undertaking. Each day, the plants are bigger … [Read more...] about Super Saturday – Maybe I Did Need Some Time Off
Have I Fallen Off the Recovery Wagon?
Or maybe I am still on it, but I am not driving it? Whatever it is, it feels unproductive. I’ve read a lot of articles recently by medical professionals who say it is OK to feel anxious right now. Afterall, pandemics have not come around too often. So, they say don’ beat yourself up if you feel anxious. But for me, having an out if you will, lets me off the … [Read more...] about Have I Fallen Off the Recovery Wagon?
This Year, A Little Rain Is OK
I do not care if it rains all week, I am happy to be alive. And guess what, my wish is coming true. The forecast is for seven days of showers. The best news is that my garden will get daily watering as the plants establish themselves. And then the days going into Memorial Day will be dry, calm and sunny. We are planning to have no more than 10 local family members gather … [Read more...] about This Year, A Little Rain Is OK
Pandemic Closings Aside, My Depression Recovery is Still Open For Business
I am having trouble managing my thoughts and feelings with so many of my resources closed. I'm blaming my lack of motivation on not having face to face meetings. And my recovery feels stalled. In SMART Recovery, I have learned that at the heart of recovery lies their 4-Point Program. My journey has taken me from point one to point three. The four-points are: Building … [Read more...] about Pandemic Closings Aside, My Depression Recovery is Still Open For Business