Some days it is a pebble and the hill is hardly noticeable. Other days, it is a boulder and the hill is more of a mountain, that ascends almost vertically from the valley floor. During these days, my depression is everything. Concealing it and acting to the world like nothing is wrong takes all my energy. And I mean every single ounce of energy I can muster to keep people … [Read more...] about Every Day I Push the Same Rock Up the Same Hill
I just want to be better than I am now. Not great, magnificent, or even "damn fine", just better. This whole depression thing is tiring me out. Every day, I am reminded of what I have lost. The things that could have been popping up at the oddest of times, ruining the beginnings of being better. Then I’m right back to blah, blah, blah. Not overly bad, not overly … [Read more...] about Can I consistently feel better?
Concealed depression has been my life. I have racked up 43+ years of hiding my depression, even from myself. This has led me to jump through hoops and do all kinds of crazy shenanigans to keep it hidden. From ignoring it to justifying it by using an unhelpful thinking style, I have lived with depression for my entire adult life. It turns out, my way of dealing with … [Read more...] about Five Names For My Depression