I know they are only trying to help. And I want to be helped. Or so I say. But is that true? Am I feeling so guilty and embarrassed about talking to someone about my depression that I am pushing away those who want to help? I did that with two therapists, and now I am close to pushing away my peer advocate. They are professionals who are in my life to help me learn to … [Read more...] about I’m Feeling Embarrassed and Guilty For Not Being a Better Patient
feeling guilty
The New Year Brings New Possibilities
How will I think about the new year? Answering this will set the tone for 2022. Accepting things that happen to me is what my depression would love. Its new year’s resolution begins, “I will make sure Joel is circling the drain by the end of 2022. I will make sure Joel remembers that I am the best thing that has happened to him. I resolve to make sure Joel sees that I am his … [Read more...] about The New Year Brings New Possibilities
I Made It Through Another Day and It Was Good
It was supposed to be a family dinner for my son and daughter-in-law. It turned out Covid reared its ugly head, and they could not drive down from up north. Now, this did not mean that the family dinner was canceled. It only meant that the Christmas presents for those two would not get opened last night. Dinner was a success. Everyone arrived on time and brought the … [Read more...] about I Made It Through Another Day and It Was Good
My Self-Care is Really a To-Do List, Is That OK?
Like many who are employed by corporations, my day job includes working five days a week. This leaves two days for bigger, at-home, time-consuming projects. I spent last week's days off power washing the deck. Now this week, I spent my first day off staining parts of that same deck. The lower area is 16' X 32”’. And the upper is 8’ X 32’. And there are stairs from the upper … [Read more...] about My Self-Care is Really a To-Do List, Is That OK?
The Real Truth About Depression and My Survivors Guilt
Some days I need to remind myself that I have depression. But most days, I know that depression and I have a lifelong connection. As I move further away from my time in the hospital, I am beginning to feel guilty for being alive. The better things are going in my life, the more I feel guilty. After all there are many people in much worse shape than I ever was, even as I … [Read more...] about The Real Truth About Depression and My Survivors Guilt