As I approach five hundred blog posts over the past 3 years, I am thinking about the future. When I started writing, it was therapy. And it still is. There are many issues that I face living with depression. Many of these are subtle and have taken me time to identify. And then I mull them over, write about them, and then mull over those thoughts. And then I often write more … [Read more...] about Will Depression Let Me Make Money?
Last night one of my employees said I looked stressed. I certainly wasn't trying to project feeling that way. However, the look on my face must have given away what I have been trying to hide. Like my concealed depression, I have not shared my feelings at work. Well, almost never. And I was less than excited about the one or two times I attempted it. Sharing at work not … [Read more...] about Is There Just Too Much Going On?
It’s like a huge weight I am dragging around. If I don’t think about it, it’s still there. But if I start thinking about it, the weight just intensifies. Much of my frustration about the morning is centered around the painfully slow response of my laptop. It has taken me over 10 minutes to pen these few sentences. Should I purchase a new laptop or continue to seek out … [Read more...] about Why Am I Anxious About Being Anxious?
My psychiatrist mentioned light therapy for SAD during my last medication management session. This year I realized back in early November that the days were getting markedly shorter. By 5 PM, if it was overcast outside, the sky was almost black. And the days just before Winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, seemed exceedingly devoid of light. Now we are 6 days on … [Read more...] about My Trying LED Light Therapy Is Making Depression Mad
Last night I had a virtual therapy appointment. I remember my therapist had asked a question and I was responding. It was my side of the story I was relating. Not just the facts or my feelings about it, but I was defending my actions. My decision and why I made it was a source of pride I suppose. My therapist stopped me and said, “I hear rationalization.” He had caught … [Read more...] about My Psychiatrist Asked Me, “When Is Enough, Enough”?