If each day was longer, I could get my entire to-do list done. And if I was more organized, I could achieve all my daily goals. At work, I still create a weekly checklist. Looking at it each day reminds me to check on certain procedures and policies. I built much white space with lines to write in things that pop up during each day at work. Often there is a list of things to … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Do Everything with My Depression Being Quiet?
depression is not my boss
Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash Last night, it seemed like a logical question to ask. I began to ponder it and play out the ramifications in my head. There must have been a reason why I did not write it down. I try to save ideas such as what inspired me so I can ponder them later. I'm like a cow grazing the grass, then later chewing its cud. Why didn’t I write … [Read more...] about Did Depression Make Me Forget?
Photo by Avi Werde on Unsplash I feel guilty for not going to the gym this morning. Checking my app, I can see I have gone 4 out of 5 days this week. And I have been up since 6 AM this morning. When I got up, I had every intention of getting to the gym before preparing for work. I know it’s Saturday, but retail demands a non 9 to 5, Monday to Friday schedule. So, I am … [Read more...] about Having Coffee on The Porch and Not Going to The Gym Is My Self-care Today
Photo by Nico Smit on Unsplash My depression has exclusivity in my life. Try as I might to invite others in to share my life, in the end, I find ways to stay distant. Even when I initiate the friendship or professional relationship, in the end, I find ways to stay distant from them. And even when I stay involved, my depression is still working to keep me separate from … [Read more...] about Why Won’t Depression Let Professional Help In?
It’s called a day off for a reason. However, for me, it is a race to get everything done in the 15 hours I will be awake. I focus on the day part, a day without going to work. But I completely ignore the OFF part. I have already been up an hour and 10 minutes. And I have: Checked my email from work (even though I am off)Took my medication, washed my face, and did other … [Read more...] about I Don’t Have Time for This