This year, I am in control of how I view Christmas. When depression is in charge, I have given over to it my ability to choose how I feel. During these times, I have let depression tell me how I should feel. And then I go along with that very obediently. I do not want to upset depression and it makes sure that I know that. Depression wants me to be secretive and not share … [Read more...] about Depression Is Sad I Am Looking Forward to Christmas
coulda woulda shoulda
I am all over the place today, but If you read to the end, I finally get out what I’m thinking.Authors Note Our heatwave on the east coast is mild compared to the temperatures recorded on the west coast. And we have been spared raging wildfires like the ones consuming thousand and thousands of acres in the northwest. A few days of afternoon thunderstorms, some with damaging … [Read more...] about What Am I Worried About, It’s Just the World?
It has been months since it I've had a sucicidal thought. And while I know that I am not circling the drain, it is still a bit unnerving to have a suicidal thought flash in my head. Things have really been going well. I am healthy and am finally beginning to shed some of my Covid pounds. There have been many positive occasions in the past few months. A wedding, a first … [Read more...] about Why Is Depression Having Me Think the S-Word Again?
Every time I think I have gotten all the pieces sorted out regarding my treatment for depression, a new wrinkle appears. Learning to live with depression and understanding my relationship with it has been eye-opening. Going from concealing it, not facing it, never even saying the word to now acknowledging it has been a roller coaster ride. And on top of that, I am dealing … [Read more...] about Why I’m Still Dealing with The Fallout From MDD