I guess in many ways I still am. I am learning how to live with depression after avoiding facing it for over 43+ years. I had a whole system in place to protect myself from the truth. I lived through at least four major episodes before winding up in the hospital a year ago. That…
Tag: balanced life
Who is running this show?
My new life with depression is all about progress, not perfection. Knowing where depression is and what it is up to is very important to me. Keeping it out in the open is my main strategy. Not letting it have me keep secrets is a big thing. Historically, depression has put something in my mind,…
Life is getting in the way of living
I’m just a mess this morning. So much I want to do, but there is so much I must do. But first, the trash needs to be taken out. Something finally turned into a science project in the refrigerator and I am the one who must take it outside, empty the contents into the garbage…
I’m Still Breaking Up With Depression
It turns out it is not “one and done.” There is a lot of work in breaking up with depression. “It’s not you, it’s me” comes to mind. I know how cliché that is, but it is a way of breaking up without trying to hurt anyone’s feelings. My goal is to keep depression out…
Today I’m Feeling Like “What’s The Point?”
My dog has a twenty-foot leash we attached to one of the front porch posts. This gives her access to a wide area of grass as we sit on the porch. And it keeps her from heading out over the mountain (which is where she got shot two years ago). She enjoys her time with…
My “picker” is Not Working Right Now
That was the coolest thing I had heard all day. My “picker” is not working. Someone had to explain it to me, as I was only partially sure I understood what the term meant. It turns out the reference is about “choosing a partner.” In the context of substance abuse or recovery, this partner may…
Our lives’ are all about making choices
Sometimes it’s as simple as what will I have for breakfast. Should I just have a bowl of cereal, maybe with banana slices on it? Or should I make eggs, possibly bacon, toast, and grits? What about skipping breakfast and just grabbing coffee? Each of these choices, small as they may be, come with consequences….
It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Here are the clues I’m not on my game. I don’t sleep well. I am back to the waking every hour or so. When I work late and close the building, I am going to bed about 1 AM. I wake at 3, then 4, then 5:30, 6:30, AM or so, and I keep trying…
What’s the point of my life?
I thought I would be “cured” by now. Seven months after my hospitalization for Major Depressive Disorder, it feels like I should be on top of my game. I have medication helping me, a therapist, a psychiatrist and peer support. In September, I flew to Chicago and spent the weekend learning SMART Recovery at their…
Testing 1,2,3. Checking in to see if I am OK
Sometimes, I just need to check in with myself. Well, ever since I acknowledged that I have had depression for the past 43 years, I have felt the need to check in with myself, to see what is going on. My goal is to keep depression out in the open, where I can keep an…
