The inevitable happened today. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. He was over 15 years old and had lived a charmed life for a cat. Although he never had offspring, he had a family that he loved and that loved him. He was a hunter, a birdwatcher, and he loved to show his dominance in the pack. His name was Pumpkin after his “pumpkin color.” His nicknames included … [Read more...] about The Circle of Life Sucks – Digging an Animal Grave Part II
anxiety
Depression Wants Me to Keep Secrets Again
Since I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, I have learned just how secretive depression is. And I have learned many of the sneaky trick’s depression has used with me over the past 43+ years as it kept a hold over me. The craziest part about my relationship with depression is that it always makes me feel like I am in control. Worse, the ideas are planted by … [Read more...] about Depression Wants Me to Keep Secrets Again
Progress, Not Backsliding is What’s Happening
I am happy today that I am making progress in my life with depression. Progress is the word. It is what I am doing. There are days when I haven't realized I was making progress. Ok, there have been weeks at a time where I wasn't sure what the next step was. Now I know "depression is not my boss." Lately, though, I am more aware of my progress. This is very, very … [Read more...] about Progress, Not Backsliding is What’s Happening
I just want to get out of bed
Why is this so darn hard? What is it that is keeping me from doing this? I set my alarm with the most optimistic of intentions and fall asleep. But something goes sideways between the time I go to bed and the time I had picked to get up. And I hit the snooze alarm. Heck today, I reset the alarm about an hour before I had planned to get up, avoiding the snooze … [Read more...] about I just want to get out of bed
Today I wish I were sad
That would be a step up from where I am right now. The harder I work on my recovery, the further behind I feel. Now part of this may be the time of year. I know about S.A.D. and what happens when you do not get enough sunlight. This could certainly be a factor in how I feel. But why is it, particularly when I am taking the SMART Training classes and learning so many … [Read more...] about Today I wish I were sad