Why is this so darn hard? What is it that is keeping me from doing this? I set my alarm with the most optimistic of intentions and fall asleep. But something goes sideways between the time I go to bed and the time I had picked to get up. And I hit the snooze alarm….
Tag: anxiety
Today I wish I were sad
That would be a step up from where I am right now. The harder I work on my recovery, the further behind I feel. Now part of this may be the time of year. I know about S.A.D. and what happens when you do not get enough sunlight. This could certainly be a factor in…
Our lives’ are all about making choices
Sometimes it’s as simple as what will I have for breakfast. Should I just have a bowl of cereal, maybe with banana slices on it? Or should I make eggs, possibly bacon, toast, and grits? What about skipping breakfast and just grabbing coffee? Each of these choices, small as they may be, come with consequences….
It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Here are the clues I’m not on my game. I don’t sleep well. I am back to the waking every hour or so. When I work late and close the building, I am going to bed about 1 AM. I wake at 3, then 4, then 5:30, 6:30, AM or so, and I keep trying…
Have I reached a Plateau? Is it up or down from here?
30 weeks into my life with depression, I have plateaued. I have no clue as to what is next. It could be I am consolidating what I have learned, assessing what is working and then steeling myself for the next leg up. Or, I am nearer to the abyss than I have been in months,…
I didn’t think I would be digging an animal grave today
This isn’t the first animal I have buried. But it is the first since my acknowledgement of depression. This new perspective on life makes the process very personal. I feel so bad for my family. And having lived with the cat for several years, the sadness at our loss is overwhelming. Kidney failure is a…
10 ways I am de-stressing the holidays
Even before acknowledging my depression, the holidays could be stressful. Expectations about what “should” happen can make things uncomfortable at best. When I would go into the holidays without clearly thinking about what I want and need for self-care, the outcomes were generally ok, sometimes good, but unpredictable. This year, I am thinking about the…
300 million people around the world have depression* and I am one of them
The statistics are compelling. What’s the first thing most of us do if we want to find out more about something? Google it. Every two seconds somebody Googles ‘depression’ in the UK. While anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., depression isn’t far behind. The most recent depression statistics are: According…
Even the dog got up early today
I have a therapy appointment this morning. When the alarm went off, I got up and went into the bathroom to take my medicine. After my psychiatrist appointment last month, he felt the 20 mg. of Prozac was all I needed, and I should see him again next month. I am still impressed that he…
Why do I set challenges for myself?
Why am I always challenging myself? Is it to accomplish more than I thought I could and or is it to make a competition out of my ‘to-do’ list? I read a very thought-provoking article this morning that has me thinking about how I procrastinate, but even more importantly, why I procrastinate. While everyone procrastinates occasionally,…
