I’m just a mess this morning. So much I want to do, but there is so much I must do. But first, the trash needs to be taken out. Something finally turned into a science project in the refrigerator and I am the one who must take it outside, empty the contents into the garbage…
Tag: anxiety
There are still doors my keys do not open
The problem is not all or nothing. Although it feels like that when I am stuck, immobile and indecisive. Once the day gets going, I am better equipped to use the tools I have learned to meet and defeat problems as they come my way. Between SMART Recovery, WRAP training, Peer Support at On Our…
I still have time for Valentine’s Day
Procrastination could just be a guy thing, not a sign of depression. Whatever the cause, I am going to be one of those last-minute husbands today, rushing around to select just the right card from the picked over selection left after the early birds claimed their worms (cards). And then it’s a visit to the…
The Circle of Life Sucks – Digging an Animal Grave Part II
The inevitable happened today. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. He was over 15 years old and had lived a charmed life for a cat. Although he never had offspring, he had a family that he loved and that loved him. He was a hunter, a birdwatcher, and he loved to show his dominance in…
Depression wants me to keep secrets again
Since I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, I have learned just how secretive depression is. And I have learned many of the sneaky trick’s depression has used with me over the past 43+ years as it kept a hold over me. The craziest part about my relationship with depression is that it always makes…
Progress, not backsliding is what’s happening
I am happy today that I am making progress in my life with depression. Progress is the word. It is what I am doing. There are days when I haven’t realized I was making progress. Ok, there have been weeks at a time where I wasn’t sure what the next step was. Now I know…
I just want to get out of bed
Why is this so darn hard? What is it that is keeping me from doing this? I set my alarm with the most optimistic of intentions and fall asleep. But something goes sideways between the time I go to bed and the time I had picked to get up. And I hit the snooze alarm….
Today I wish I were sad
That would be a step up from where I am right now. The harder I work on my recovery, the further behind I feel. Now part of this may be the time of year. I know about S.A.D. and what happens when you do not get enough sunlight. This could certainly be a factor in…
Our lives’ are all about making choices
Sometimes it’s as simple as what will I have for breakfast. Should I just have a bowl of cereal, maybe with banana slices on it? Or should I make eggs, possibly bacon, toast, and grits? What about skipping breakfast and just grabbing coffee? Each of these choices, small as they may be, come with consequences….
It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Here are the clues I’m not on my game. I don’t sleep well. I am back to the waking every hour or so. When I work late and close the building, I am going to bed about 1 AM. I wake at 3, then 4, then 5:30, 6:30, AM or so, and I keep trying…
