• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • Mental Health Resources
    • Depression Resources
  • Blog
    • Coping
    • Medication
    • Self Care
    • Stress and Anxiety
    • Unhelpful thinking
      • Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
      • Fortune-Telling
      • Guilt and Shame
      • Time Travel
    • Sleep Issues
    • Depression
    • Covid19
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
    • Wellness Tools
      • SMART – Self Management And Recovery Training
      • WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
      • Change Triangle
  • Contact

THE HOME OF COPING STATEMENTS FOR DEPRESSION

PureFormulas.com-Pure Healthy Goodness, Highest-Grade Natural Supplements! Fast, Free Shipping!
You are here: Home / Featured Home / I’m Still Breaking Up With Depression

I’m Still Breaking Up With Depression

January 29, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss 3 Comments

breaking up with depression is hard to do

It turns out it is not “one and done.”

There is a lot of work in breaking up with depression.  “It’s not you, it’s me” comes to mind. I know how cliché that is, but it is a way of breaking up without trying to hurt anyone’s feelings.

My goal is to keep depression out in the open where I can see what it is up to.

I am afraid if I try to completely break up with depression, it will stalk me and become my worst nightmare. Of course, it is already stalking me and has been my worst nightmare for 43+ years. So why suddenly, I care about depression’s feelings is beyond me.

READ MORE: I’m afraid I do not know what I am afraid of

Yet here I am rehearsing in my mind, reasons why depression and I are not compatible.

Maybe it’s the secrecy, maybe it’s the way it says it is treating me to dinner, then it runs out just before the check is presented, leaving me alone to pay the bill. Or maybe it is a disease that I have had since childhood, and it is something I must live with and understand. In my life, I have spent most of my years avoiding facing depression.

Why would I even want to think I had something as manipulative and sneaky as depression?

If I had my choice, I would rather have my tooth drilled without anesthesia rather than have depression. Yet here I am, with a lifetime of depression dragging long behind me. And let me tell you, it is very, very heavy.

Depression is so heavy, the last time it visited, it nearly drowned me.

This makes me scared to separate myself from depression, for fear of retaliation. Knowing what it is capable of, I am finding excuses for not taking the final steps to separate myself from its clutches and unhelpful thinking.

I am doing everything I can to learn how to live a balanced life with depression.

But it is still far from over. And I do understand that it will never be completely over. I have the genetic background, family history and whatever else is needed to bring on bouts of depression. What I have now, that I didn’t have before, is depression out in the open where I can see it.

Saying “I have depression, depression does not have me” is still my mantra.

READ MORE: I know that is going to leave a mark

And collecting tools to assist me in my breakup with depression has been how I have lived the past six months. And, despite depressions’ best efforts, the worst it could do lately is to make it hard for me to get out of bed.

I realized that even though the past weeks have been less than ideal, I did not feel pushed to the edge.

There was no, “I’m up against the wall” kind of feeling. The abyss was far away, and I did not feel threatened by it as I have done with other depressive episodes. Heck, those suicidal thoughts haven’t visited me in a while. My tools are working.

READ MORE: Up against the wall; 10 unhelpful thinking styles

How and when I will finish my breakup with depression is unclear.

But I am focused on doing everything I can to keep depression out where I can see it and watch it. I am not going to let it get me into a corner, or up against the wall again. I am stronger than it is, and while I cannot control events that happen, I can assuredly control my attitude towards those events.

This sets the stage, in my mind, for even more distance between me and depression.

Filed Under: Featured Home, Self Care, The cost of success, Unhelpful thinking, What depression has cost me Tagged With: balanced life, depression, depression and anxiety, depression is not my boss, sneaky, unhealthy thinking styles, Unhelpful thinking, unhelpful thinking styles

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder. Join my journey as I explore my 40+ years of living with high-functioning depression.

I have a certification in  SMART Recovery and I’m a Global Career Development Facilitator.

Join our mailing list

We're giving away our 38 Page Mental Health Tools Flipbook

Privacy Policy

Discover Self-Care, Coping Strategies, Understand Anxiety, Track your Triggers, Mood, and Sleep; Recap Therapy Sessions, and more. Subscribe and Get Your Free Copy Now.

https://www.myconcealeddepression.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/my-concealed-depression-intro.mp4
  • Email
  • Facebook

More to See

The startling truth about coping statements for anxiety and depression

The Startling Truth About Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 28, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

My 101 Coping Strategies for Anxiety

My 101 Best Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 18, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Everything is the same now that I am back from visiting my grandson so I need to adjust my attitude

It Just Feels Like More of The Same

June 13, 2022 By Depression Is Not My Boss

With my high-functioning depression I am not motivated to pick the ripe strawberries in my garden

Why Can’t I Pick Strawberries With My High-Functioning Depression?

June 4, 2022 By Depression Is Not My Boss

You Never Pay More, Yet Clicking These Links And Making a Purchase Helps Fund My Blog

Mosaic 250x250
PureFormulas.com-Pure Healthy Goodness, Highest-Grade Natural Supplements! Fast, Free Shipping!
Blog Meets Brand
Your Page Title

Footer

Contact

Email:  my.concealed.depression@gmail.com

  • Email
  • Facebook

Privacy Policy

Recent

  • It’s a Fact There Are Only 188 More Shopping Days Until Christmas
  • Depression Never Told Me It’s Not All About Me
  • It Just Feels Like More of The Same
  • Why Can’t I Pick Strawberries With My High-Functioning Depression?
  • Memorial Day Holiday Is Over, Now What?

Search

© Copyright 2020 · My Concealed Depression · All Rights Reserved · Designed by The Marketing Momma