It seems very straight-forward.
You encounter a problem. You decide what tool you need to repair the problem. Then you use the chosen tool and fix the problem.
This works great for when the lawnmower is sputtering and won’t start or your zipper in your coat is stuck and needs fixing.
Applying this to my mental health issues is a lot trickier.
READ MORE: What lens am I looking at myself through?
Having a problem getting things done with depression is infuriating. On the one hand, I am blaming myself for not being more assertive and forceful with myself. I tell myself to just pull it together and make it happen. “It’s all on your head.” “Snap out of it.” Within minutes, I can be circling the drain in a huge spiraling storm cloud of “shoulda, woulda, coulda.”
Unhelpful thinking then becomes the next step in my road to the abyss.
Being able to face what needs to be done has been hard my entire life. The frustrating part is it has also been so easy. Many times, I just latch onto something and run with it. I do not need someone’s approval to go after say, writing my first book, or deciding to mow the lawn.
But, deciding to finish putting together my tax information has me stuck.
And the crazy part is it is all done. Really, all I need is to calculate mileage for my business trips last year and put it with the rest of my information. Then it is done. But here I sit, writing, instead of doing that one little thing to get this off my plate. If I focus on that, then I can get back to writing.
I can see right now I have lost my direction.
READ MORE: Why can’t I make the call?
What I want to write about is using SMART RECOVERY’s CBA WORKSHEET to figure out what’s going on with my attitude. Using cost-benefit analysis can help me figure out what the costs and benefits are of my current attitude, and what that would look like if I changed it. This one chore is keeping me from thinking more clearly about this.
I’m going to stop here and just do the final calculations and have my taxes done.
See you tomorrow when I will continue to explore my attitude.
My concealed depression is written under the alias “Depression is not my boss.” I have certifications in SMART Recovery and am a Global Career Development Facilitator.
Last year, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.If you know someone who might benefit from reading this, please share. And your comments are always appreciated.