• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • Mental Health Resources
    • Depression Resources
  • Blog
    • Coping
    • Medication
    • Self Care
    • Stress and Anxiety
    • Unhelpful thinking
      • Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
      • Fortune-Telling
      • Guilt and Shame
      • Time Travel
    • Sleep Issues
    • Depression
    • Covid19
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
    • Wellness Tools
      • SMART – Self Management And Recovery Training
      • WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
      • Change Triangle
  • Contact

THE HOME OF COPING STATEMENTS FOR DEPRESSION

PureFormulas.com-Pure Healthy Goodness, Highest-Grade Natural Supplements! Fast, Free Shipping!

How I Use Mental Health Programs to Avoid Circling the Drain

September 24, 2020 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

I’m not 100% sure I would be alive if I hadn’t found these powerful organizations.

When I was admitted to the hospital last spring, I was seeing zero hope. Nothing. I was up against the wall, smashed as tightly as possible and I could not see anything. There was an empty place in my heart where hope had been, but it was not there that day.

Heck, I hadn’t seen hope in months.

Hope had gone, happiness had gone, joy had gone, and enjoyment had moved along. You would think that would leave the other emotions such as fear and anger, but they had left even earlier. All I had left was a dull numbness, parts of which I still visit some days. And even though my depression has not been full-blown every day of my life, my depression is with me in some ways routinely.

I push the same rock up the same hill every single day.

Lately, the rock has been more of a pebble and the hill is more of a gentle rise. But there have been times, for weeks, even months on end, where the rock is a huge boulder, and the hill is a crag with a 1,000-foot vertical drop. And did I mention the ice, snow, and blinding wind creating blackout conditions where I am pushing?

With 43+ years of concealing my depression, I have seen the abyss many times.

And each time I clawed my way back up and out. As soon as I reached the surface, I took a shower and washed off everything I could relate to the abyss. Avoiding any questions related to how I had gotten there, I went back to my life, assuming no one knew where I had been. I’m sure now that this was not true.

READ: Three things I learned while circling the drain

15 months ago, I made the decision to face my depression and sought professional help.

People went out of their way to tell me how brave I was. They lauded praise and support on me. It was hard for me to accept. But I didn’t feel brave. I felt like I had chosen the least frightening of the three choices I saw the day I walked into the hospital.

That morning, I saw my choices as 1. Suicide, 2. Doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome, 3. Asking for professional medical help.

That morning, I could have chosen to end it, but I was way too scared of that. And while I have suicidal ideation, I just observe it and let it go. I don’t entertain these thoughts but apply mindfulness meditation techniques. I don’t fight them, but I don’t engage them either. This lets them float on downstream, in my version of meditation, and they disappear around the corner.

Doing the same thing and expecting different results was the crazy choice.

43+ years of doing that had not changed my relationship with depression. And doing my best to sweep this current version of my depression under the rug was beyond my thinking. I just couldn’t conceal it any longer.

So that left me with choice #3, seek professional medical attention.

This led me to 4 days in 5 North, where I learned that there are tools available to treat depression. Even in the hospital, I learned about unhelpful thinking styles. This was an eye-opener. I had no idea how depression worked or what it was capable of.

And I was completely unaware that there were organizations devoted to helping people with depression lead a balanced life.

Searching out resources, I stumbled onto a local non-profit providing resources for mental health issues. The first day I walked through the door of On Our Own, I felt safe. And there was no judgment. From there I learned about SMART RECOVERY and WRAP techniques.

Working with a LSCW a month later, I learned about the Change Triangle.

These three have given me the ability to learn about depression and craft a plan for living with it. On top of that, these tools are helping me thrive again. And I can see how things will continue to improve as I apply and reapply what I am learning.

And, if I feel myself slipping back toward depression, I have a written wellness recovery action plan in place.

Heck, I even have a support team of friends and professionals that are working to keep me on track. This is huge. 15 months ago, I only saw the wall I was up against. And I felt nothing. I could see no plan forward, no way out. But I kept going because not living was too frightening for me to consider.

So, I am going to post my worksheets in upcoming posts. I want to share my experience with all the tools these three organizations have provided me.

My three resources are:

  1. SMART RECOVERY
  2. WRAP Training
  3. The Change Triangle

I want you to see how I use these so that, if you need them, you can see what the outcome may be. I am also extremely interested in feedback about any other programs or tools that may be helpful to lead a balanced life with depression.

Filed Under: Books that help me, Change Triangle, Depression, Facts and myths about mental illness, Self Care, SMART - Self Management And Recovery Training, SMART Recovery, Suicide & Self-Harm, therapy, WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) Tagged With: Change Triangle, concealed depression, coping statements for anxiety, Coping Statements for Depression, depression, depression and anxiety, depression is not my boss, depressionisreal, SMART Recovery, wellness recovery action plan

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I have Major Depressive Disorder. Join my journey as I explore my 40+ years of living with high-functioning depression.

I have a certification in  SMART Recovery and I’m a Global Career Development Facilitator.

Join our mailing list

We're giving away our 38 Page Mental Health Tools Flipbook

Privacy Policy

Discover Self-Care, Coping Strategies, Understand Anxiety, Track your Triggers, Mood, and Sleep; Recap Therapy Sessions, and more. Subscribe and Get Your Free Copy Now.

https://www.myconcealeddepression.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/my-concealed-depression-intro.mp4
  • Email
  • Facebook

More to See

The startling truth about coping statements for anxiety and depression

The Startling Truth About Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 28, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

My 101 Coping Strategies for Anxiety

My 101 Best Coping Statements For Anxiety and Depression

October 18, 2020 By Depression Is Not My Boss

If I did not have depression, I would have already written my 500th blog post about depression

If I Did Not Have Depression, Would I Have Already Written 500 Blog Posts About My Depression? (This is only post #489)

May 15, 2022 By Depression Is Not My Boss

Naomi Judd took her life by suicide the day before being inducted into the Hall of Fame, based on a lie her disease was telling her.

The Lie the Disease Told Her Was So Convincing

May 14, 2022 By Depression Is Not My Boss

You Never Pay More, Yet Clicking These Links And Making a Purchase Helps Fund My Blog

Mosaic 250x250
PureFormulas.com-Pure Healthy Goodness, Highest-Grade Natural Supplements! Fast, Free Shipping!
Blog Meets Brand
Your Page Title

Footer

Contact

Email:  my.concealed.depression@gmail.com

  • Email
  • Facebook

Privacy Policy

Recent

  • Depression Has Made the Low Bar to Entry Seem Impassable
  • If I Did Not Have Depression, Would I Have Already Written 500 Blog Posts About My Depression? (This is only post #489)
  • The Lie the Disease Told Her Was So Convincing
  • Why Am I Alone Again While My Depression is Winning?
  • 3 Ways Depression is Keeping My Continued Success Away

Search

© Copyright 2020 · My Concealed Depression · All Rights Reserved · Designed by The Marketing Momma