Depression Has Made the Low Bar to Entry Seem Impassable

I want to take advantage of my employer’s online mental health resources.

But depression has made the low bar to entry seem impenetrable. All I need to do to set up an account and access the resources is to supply the access code number issued by my company.

I don’t have an access code.

I followed the directions, downloaded the app, and can see the end. All I need to do now is finish setting up my account. So why do I need a code? The short video did not say anything about a code to gain entry. Or if it did, I was not aware of that. So now I am back to the company website for more information. It turns out there was a Google Meet that covered much of this material, including how to enter this resource.

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So, I attended a replay of the hour-long Google meet and discovered that the code is to be the company’s name, all in lower case. After the Google meet, I followed the notes I had scribbled and began to access the resource.

Beginning the sign-up process, I entered the access code on the first screen.

Up pops this error message stating that the code is not valid. Not valid. I didn’t want to hear that. I wanted to set up my account and gain access to the free resources that my company has set up. Taking advantage of these should not be hard.

Yet here I am behind a simple barrier, not able to enter.

There must be something simple that I am not doing. I went out, deleted the app, and then reinstalled it. Ever hopeful, I then went in and attempted to create my new user account. The first screen was fine but then the app wanted that darn code.

The app states:

Ready to get started? Simply click below to go to the registration page and create your account. Just enter your email address, create a password, and enter the Username you used for this website as your access code.

There’s a mobile app, too

Now you can access in-the-moment coping resources and more while on the go.

Accessing coping resources was one of the things I want to do through this company resource. But I am standing here, wishing the code I discovered would allow me to gain entry. I have downloaded the app, and I am still an outsider.

My depression is magnifying the barrier to entry.

Unhelpful thinking jumps up and says, you will never gain access (All or nothing thinking). Then it tries catastrophizing, followed by “if I had only… (shoulda, woulda, coulda). I just want to use the tools available to me.

My depression is setting up barriers because it recognizes the value to me that these resources have.

READ MORE: “Why is it so hard getting approval for mental health treatment?”

And in doing so, it projects a “you will never figure this out” attitude. While I do not believe it, I have lived with depression long enough that I must consider the possibility.

Eventually, I will get past this barrier and gain entry.

Then I will think, “that was easy.” But until I have the emotional fortitude to tackle this obstacle, I am stuck without access to the very tools that would make gaining access to these tools so much easier for me.