I’m spilling out my heart into a word document on my laptop when it closes shop and the paragraphs I have written are lost. OK, so I should be saving as I go. And I should have expected something to happen since the laptop was spending more time buffering than time letting me be productive. I’ve got a big to-do list for today. I don’t have time for my laptop to be a prima … [Read more...] about Can I Smash My Laptop This Morning?
I haven’t spoken to my peer support contact in over 2 weeks. In fact, I have been ignoring her calls, letting them go to voice mail. It’s not that I do not want to talk to her. She has been one of my most ardent supporters for the past three years. Her observations have helped me understand my medication choices. And she has given me the confidence to speak up for … [Read more...] about Depression Won’t Let Me Make the Call
You would think I would stop thinking that this time will be different. After three years and over a dozen changes in my medication to address my Major Depressive Disorder, I am still shocked my body doesn’t adapt instantly. My psychiatrist even reminded me last Tuesday, that there was going to be a week or so where my body would be adjusting to the new dose. Yet here I … [Read more...] about It Happens Every Time My Depression Medication Is Adjusted
Now don’t get me wrong, I am genuinely thankful to be mentally where I am. And I am thankful for all the support I have been given, and the tools I have learned. There is so much about depression I did not know. For instance, some depression can be situational. The loss of a job or a loved one’s death can bring on this type of depression. Biological depression is inherent, … [Read more...] about Is It OK That I’m Good, But Not Too Good?
Why do I feel as if I am the only person sitting in the audience? Things that gave me joy are happening and I am not joining in. Making a call to my 94-year-old Mother is hard. There was a time when I would check in every night on my way home from work. Now I use the fact that she is in an Assisted Living community to justify putting off making a call. Mom doesn’t have an … [Read more...] about What Makes Me Feel Like A Visitor in My Own Body?