I can’t believe those were the first words out of my mouth. The day had really ended well despite taking three hours to drive in the heavy, wet snow to work. It turns out the winter storm tracked east, at about the same speed as I was traveling east. I kept thinking it was going…
Category: therapy
Get up, get up, get up!
This is starting to be a broken record. Why can’t I just get up? Last night I went to bed just before 10 PM. I set my alarm for 7 AM. This gave me an extra hour of sleep beyond the “8” I require. Of course, even 8 hours of sleep is probably an hour…
“I know that’s going to leave a mark”
The last year of this decade was overly complicated, frightening and dramatic. It started off in January of 2019 with waking up not being able to breath. It wasn’t that there was no air, it was as if someone had taken the life-giving oxygen out of the air that I was breathing in. I would…
I just want to get out of bed
Why is this so darn hard? What is it that is keeping me from doing this? I set my alarm with the most optimistic of intentions and fall asleep. But something goes sideways between the time I go to bed and the time I had picked to get up. And I hit the snooze alarm….
Surviving Depression and thriving as I write my 200th blog post
I’m still alive and able to make choices about my life! Approaching my 200th blog post, I went back and read some of my earlier posts. Boy, I was really a mess. In some ways I still am. Here’s part of what I wrote on my 100th blog post: That first morning, I was told…
Why am I feeling so guilty for setting boundaries?
In the end, that is the whole premise of self-care. To take care of yourself. To understand what you need and be able to ask for it. Getting it may be something different, but the asking is important. Wanting to better understand boundaries and self-care, of course, I Googled it. Here is the last part…
It’s all piling up, I’ve got to get a grip
Here are the clues I’m not on my game. I don’t sleep well. I am back to the waking every hour or so. When I work late and close the building, I am going to bed about 1 AM. I wake at 3, then 4, then 5:30, 6:30, AM or so, and I keep trying…
What’s the point of my life?
I thought I would be “cured” by now. Seven months after my hospitalization for Major Depressive Disorder, it feels like I should be on top of my game. I have medication helping me, a therapist, a psychiatrist and peer support. In September, I flew to Chicago and spent the weekend learning SMART Recovery at their…
Is it possible to be “recovered” rather than forever in “recovery?”
This is the question I am grappling with right now. This idea was presented in the training I am doing with SMART Recovery. Yes, I want to be a meeting facilitator someday, but right now I am still working on me. Seeing this concept in black and white, has given me a renewed sense of…
What is my motivation?
If I were an actor in a play, I would be asking the director that question. Seriously, I am not sure why I am doing the things I am doing. That being said, some things are clear. I travel to my day job because they have fantastic health benefits. This is worth the time and…
