It’s a disease after all. It can’t exactly be the enemy, because it is a part of me. Trying to understand how to frame my relationship with depression has been complicated. Not only is it a disease, but it is also a mental health issue. That makes it nowhere near as straight forward as cancer….
Category: therapy
I’m early for my therapy appointment
I am always early. If I am on time, I feel like I am late. Waiting in the parking lot for my therapist to arrive, I have scrolled through more Facebook than I usually do in a week. I had to decide whether to drive home from work just long enough to turn around and…
I was nervous about switching therapists
It turns out, my insurance is not covering my former therapy visits. $874 is quite a chunk to swallow when you think that, at worst, you are responsible for a $15 co-pay. I know, it is my responsibility to follow up on my insurance. I sign the papers that say I will be the responsible…
Depression isn’t always depressing.
Or is it depression can be depressing? How about, depression is depressing? I want to believe the first one. In fact, I have been struggling with this for the past few days. Why am I so negative? Why am I seeing the bad, not the good, the challenge, not the reward? This whole idea is…
Why can’t I outwit this squirrel?
It should be so easy to keep a squirrel from getting into the bird feeder. You put up a squirrel guard, make sure the feeder is far enough away from trees squirrels can jump from, and the birds have free reign. Of course, that is the textbook version of what to do. The reality is,…
Five names for my depression
Concealed depression has been my life. I have racked up 43+ years of hiding my depression, even from myself. This has led me to jump through hoops and do all kinds of crazy shenanigans to keep it hidden. From ignoring it to justifying it by using an unhelpful thinking style, I have lived with depression…
Who is running this show?
My new life with depression is all about progress, not perfection. Knowing where depression is and what it is up to is very important to me. Keeping it out in the open is my main strategy. Not letting it have me keep secrets is a big thing. Historically, depression has put something in my mind,…
Guess what? I am just like everyone else
For some reason, I thought I was special. I was sure that certain things only happened to me. My life and experiences are unique, but I was positive that my trials and tribulations were one of a kind, no one had ever lived through what I have lived through. Generally, I think this way in…
There are still doors my keys do not open
The problem is not all or nothing. Although it feels like that when I am stuck, immobile and indecisive. Once the day gets going, I am better equipped to use the tools I have learned to meet and defeat problems as they come my way. Between SMART Recovery, WRAP training, Peer Support at On Our…
If I am not in control, am I out of control?
Two things are on my mind this morning. My ability to get out of bed in the morning and a mysterious charge to my checking account. Sometime after I went to bed last night, I was charged $200 for a “Promo-Kit.” The time was 11:20 PM and I was in bed, asleep. I discovered it…
