On the surface, the term self-care seems straight-forward. I Googled® the definition just to be sure my assessment of self-care was in line with general notions. Based on this definition, I feel I understand what the idea of self-care is all about. self-care So why do I struggle with self-care? Last year, as I first learned how to think about and practice … [Read more...] about What Makes Me Feel Obliged to Struggle with Self-Care?
Is it my medication or am I not brave enough to explore my feelings? With 44+ years of practice, I am exceptionally good at feeling numb and blocking out my feelings. Listening to an EBT audiobook on the way to work the other day, the author said some people are overly emotional and in touch with their feelings. Others suppress their feelings and emotions like a bottle of … [Read more...] about Why Am I Choosing Numb Instead of Real Feelings?
Asking for professional medical help was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I started writing the morning after I was released from the hospital. In 5 North, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, with suicidal ideation. Feeling up against the wall, seeking professional medical advice was the least hard of the three choices I felt I had. Choice #1 was to … [Read more...] about After Getting Help for Myself, I Can Now Share with Others
I see eyes and a mouth ready to eat me if I get too close. That’s what I see as I sit in my therapist’s office waiting for my appointment. Maybe I watched too many cartoons as a child. I see the raised couch cushion forming an upper lip, while the frame underneath becomes the bottom of the mouth. And the tops of the sofa arms, become eyes. But if I go over, all I will … [Read more...] about What You See May Not Be What You Get
Why do I feel lifeless when so many things are good? What is causing this enormous hole in my day to day feelings? The list for today was made yesterday. Many things on the list were crossed off as completed before lunchtime. So what? I just want to feel better. Feeling better is all I want. Not great, spectacular, or even above average. Simply better than I … [Read more...] about Many Things Are Going Well, So Why Do I Feel Lackluster and Dull?