Photo by Joy Memon on Unsplash Depression and I go back almost 60 years, but I have only said “I have depression” for the past four. Before that, I was all about getting the episode over so I could get back to my “regular life.” It never occurred to me that living with depression was my regular life. I was so focused on never having depression that I refused to see my … [Read more...] about My Depression and I Are About to Celebrate Our 4th Anniversary
Change Triangle
Why Must My Depression Decide What I Really Want or Need?
Photo by Alvaro Reyes on Unsplash If I think I want or need something, shouldn’t that be enough? Yet here I am negotiating with myself over what I want. Even after a lifetime of making my own choices, I am stuck between my ideas and depression. Now it is possible that my depression has allowed me a few “wins.” You know, just enough to keep me in the game. My … [Read more...] about Why Must My Depression Decide What I Really Want or Need?
My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
Photo by Hasnain Babar on Unsplash My depression can only push me so far or it will lose its host. After all, if I die, then depression dies too. So it is in depression’s best interest to keep me alive and kicking. Even when it has me in the abyss, its focus is on keeping me up against that wall. If I cannot feel anything or envision any way forward, depression is … [Read more...] about My Depression is Waiting for Me to Say, “I Give Up”
Will Depression Return if I Retire Again?
Depression helped me retire the first time, making a cluster of the entire experience. My depression convinced me to scrap over 40 years of planning and jump into retirement with only a sketchy idea of what I was going to do. Now the upside was I finally had off on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. We flew north for an entire week around Thanksgiving. But the nuts … [Read more...] about Will Depression Return if I Retire Again?
Depressed? Why I Hadn’t Considered Myself as Having Depression
Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash I have been depressed, with high-functioning (concealed) depression for over 50 years. It wasn’t until I spent 4 days in 5 East that I faced my depression. Until then, I had gotten through each episode and never looked back. There was no critique, no sense that I should do something different. It was over so let’s just move on and … [Read more...] about Depressed? Why I Hadn’t Considered Myself as Having Depression