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Can you see the obvious?

August 29, 2019 by Depression Is Not My Boss Leave a Comment

Who would think you would need spell check for a four-word truck sign?

On my way to work yesterday, I ended up behind a tandem dump truck.  No big deal, except I would rather be behind a vehicle I can see over, around or through. This helps me feel more confident as I drive. But in heavy traffic, I can make it work.

As we got to a traffic light, I really looked at the back of the truck.

WORK VECHILE

Did I see that right? What is a vechile? How can the owner not see that this is not spelled correctly?

Well there are times where I am carrying around an unhelpful thought or idea. Depression tells me not to worry, everything is ok. And in the past, I would believe depression. For why would it lie to me? It is only looking out for my best interests and would never steer me wrong, let alone misspell something.

I learned the hard way, to put it mildly, that this is not true.

I am sure that most people could see me carrying around the unhelpful thinking. They could see that something wasn’t right. They could tell it was misspelled. But there I am, thinking everything is ok, that I am concealing my depression and my unhelpful thinking, and that no one can see the misspelled word I am totting around.

I hope none of you have been the person coming out of the bathroom with a piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe. You see that and immediately most people will say something. Seeing that makes us uncomfortable, makes us quickly look at our own shoes, and reminds us that we need to be careful when we leave a public restroom.

Yet the person who first, had the sign printed, hung the sign, and now drives around with the misspelled sign on the back of their truck doesn’t seem to notice. Now the reverse of that is it could be a publicity stunt, or a way to interact with potential customers.

The truck stops somewhere, I walk over and mention the sign, the driver says, “I know, but do you need dirt delivered?” Its probably not that and I am using fortune telling and mind reading to create a reason for the sign being misspelled.

I must have too much time on my hands as I drive to work.

Why else would I spend so much energy on why the sign on the back of a truck is misspelled? It triggered something in me that really wants to fix it. Why should I take on the misspelled sign as my own problem that I feel responsible for correcting? That is the bigger question. Who cares about the spelling, why am I so obsessed with it?

What am I carrying around that isn’t obvious to me?

That is the real question. The fact that it triggered this response says I need to investigate why. The fact that I feel responsible for fixing this is unhelpful and something my therapist and I have and will continue to discuss. Then I can manage this issue and stop trying to control it.

What do you do when you see someone come out of a public restroom with toilet paper stuck to their shoe?

Filed Under: Featured Home, Unhelpful thinking, WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) Tagged With: automatic thoughts, depression, fortune telling, misspelled words, tandem dumptruck, Unhelpful thinking, unhelpful thinking styles, worries, worry

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I write My Concealed Depression to create Mental Health AwarenessHello, I am Joel. I struggle with Major Depressive Disorder. I share my story so others can see hope, even when circling the drain.

My certifications include SMART Recovery and I am a Global Career Development Facilitator.

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