The last few weeks are catching up with me.
Between working 7 days in a row, then flying to Chicago, coming back and working another 7 in a row, I am slowing down just a little bit.
For example, my legs felt it when we walked the dog yesterday evening. Our property has many hills and they usually do not bother me. Last night, it felt like someone was pulling on my legs, giving me a case of the slows.
I had yesterday off and the plan had been to use the day for self-care, starting by sleeping in.
Well, that wasn’t in the cards, because I made a commitment to meet someone at 8 AM. The chance to sleep in a little never materialized. Yet the day was filled with fun and I enjoyed time learning about sheep shearing at an outdoor show.
Writing this, I can see I am avoiding what I need to say.
Not thinking clearly last night, I set my alarm for an hour earlier than I needed to get up. I had taken a shower, gotten dressed and was packing my lunch as I ate breakfast before I realized I could still be asleep.
I had not set my alarm clock last night to the proper time. Doing the math in my head, I calculated when I needed to be at work and when I needed to get up. Somehow, I added an hour.
I saw that I wrote a note to myself in my Wellness recovery action plan booklet. It reminded me that only I may notice some of my early warning signs. I am seeing them, they are flashing all around me this morning.
One sign, I am up and ready for work an hour early.
Another sign, I had a suicidal thought pop into my head last night. Now I did not entertain it, but rather I recognized what it was and let it go. Success on that front, and this was the first thought like that in many, many weeks.
Still, another sign is the condition of my closet. I haven’t been getting my clothes hung up as soon as the laundry is done. And then there is the mess on my desk in the office that I wrote about a few days ago.
These early warning signs can be explained in the context of being overly tired.
In the week ahead, I will focus more on self-care and just saying no. I will make time for my action plan, beginning this morning, as I drive to work. And I will focus my mind on my plan, to help myself feel better.
The first hints of sunrise are coming in through the office window. I’m going to fill my coffee mug and spend a few minutes on the front porch, enjoying the morning before heading to work.
I’ve got this.
What do you do when your days get out of whack?
My WRAP plan may be under attack.
Using the Wellness toolbox, I have a:
Daily Maintenance Plan including lists of A) What I’m like when I’m well B) Things I need to do every day and C) Things I might need to do every day.
Then I have a list of Triggers and more importantly, a Trigged Action Plan.
I know I am my own best advocate because I am the one who has the most at stake. It is my personal responsibility “my job” to get better.
My Plan includes:
What I’m Like when I’m Well
I feel positive and energized
I look forward to each day
Reminders of past trauma
Manipulating or controlling people
HALT (Hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
My Early Warning Signs
Feeling bad for no reason
MY Early Warning Signs Action Plan Includes:
Using my checklist
Do not isolate
Reach out to Supporters
Focus on the cause (feeling) to see where it is coming from
Challenge negative thoughts and decide what the thought Is and what action to take.