On my calendar, the appointment was for 8:30 AM today. My appointments have been every two weeks since the summer. I even scribbled it on the card from the last appointment the new date before leaving his office two weeks ago. So why is someone else in with my therapist, and I am waiting another couple of weeks to see him? I didn’t do anything wrong. I wrote down the … [Read more...] about Two strikes against me and the day is just getting started
Archives for November 2019
A Little Slack in the Chain
It’s not a lot to ask for, just a little space. Yes, I still want to be a part of your life. And yes, I care about you. But I need my space, too. It sounds selfish when I say it out loud. Even thinking I must sometimes say no is not in my DNA. I have been programmed from an early age to say yes. If you ask me to jump, often it is not just yes, but “how high.” That … [Read more...] about A Little Slack in the Chain
Today I am thinking about the quality of life
In Smart Recovery, the 4-Point Program includes #4, Living a balanced life. As I recover from and learn how to live with depression, I am seeing what a balanced life looks like for me. And I know there is work to do to achieve it. I have written many blog posts about understanding that it is not the event, but my view of it that causes much of my anxiety. Epictetus, an … [Read more...] about Today I am thinking about the quality of life
Everybody wants me, but do I want myself?
This seems to be the question of the day. What do others see in me that I am not seeing in myself? Why does my mind gravitate to all the things I could a, shoulda, would a done, and dismiss or minimize the good, dare I say, great things I have accomplished? When I begin to question that belief, it does not hold up. Yet here I am sensationalizing my mistakes and minimizing … [Read more...] about Everybody wants me, but do I want myself?
What a week, and it’s only Tuesday
I know I should be thankful. I am alive, I am in good health, and my depression is not pushing me up against the wall. But boy do I feel rushed. Or maybe it’s a sense of urgency to get things done. It could be I am making a big deal out of what I have to do, and am making it bigger and therefore much more important than it needs to be (You know, the "hair on fire" … [Read more...] about What a week, and it’s only Tuesday