“I coulda been a contender.” That’s how I am feeling today. Concealing my depression from myself has cost me in ways I am just beginning to understand. The choices I have made, the paths taken and not taken, can be linked back to depression. Not that I am using that as an excuse. I accept and live with the decisions I have made. And I am not jealous of people who … [Read more...] about Could I have been someone else?
Archives for May 2019
This week, I am finding myself choking up over memories from my younger days. This is a new phenomenon. I am not sure what is causing it. I have always looked back to old memories with a fondness. This feeling is more like finality. On my way back from last week’s workshops, my travels took me past “the lake.” We bought in over 30 years ago and have been going every year … [Read more...] about Memories are making me teary eyed
This whole sleeping thing has kept me up at night. It’s not clear exactly when my sleep became disrupted, but I am nowhere near close to getting a full night’s sleep. And it has been almost a year. The night goes something like this: 10 PM – head to bed and play a few games of solitaire on my I-pad.10:15 – 10:45 close laptop. Lights are already off.Fall asleep fairly … [Read more...] about Why am I sleepless again?
I have been struggling with how to share what my life has been like for the past four weeks. There are friends, relatives, and business associates that I want to tell. My dilemma is how to tell them, how much to tell them when to tell them. Is my need to tell them a way to justify my behavior? I’m telling myself it is a noble thing to do, to alert others who may have these … [Read more...] about How do I tell people I have depression? Or should I?
This is not what I do. I have made a conscious effort, day after day, week after week, month after month not to call myself names. I have used positive self-talk and steered clear of labeling myself in any way that isn’t positive and helpful. So why in the past 24 hours have I caught myself doing it? Twice. This is new and is irritating, foolish, disappointing, and … [Read more...] about Why am I labeling myself?